Beware the moon... beast?
In this oddball 70's Creature Feature, the old werewolf legend gets a reptilian makeover for an end result that's both a hoot-and-a-half and oddly affecting. It tells the unlikely tale of a man who's out sightseeing with a would-be girlfriend when he's hit by shrapnel from a nearby meteor shower which has, shall we say, an adverse affect on him.
Before too long, he's shape-shifting into a lizard-like man-beast that goes on a killing rampage by the light of the silvery moon, only to revert back to his human form, come the morning, with no remembrance of what's he's done the night before. So, yeah, it's basically a werewolf movie with a twist. And bad folk rock. And a recipe for stew.
There are some key differences that make this an ever-so-slightly better-than-average take on the sub-genre, however. For one thing, it has the rare Native American co-lead performance that isn't dripping with clichés.
I mean, granted, they can't resist a "white man speaks with forked tongue" joke, but overall, the movie plays that aspect of the film surprisingly straight. The character in question, John Salinas (Gregorio Sala), aka "Johnny Longbow"- also his porn name, lol- doesn't speak with an affected accent, a la most Hollywood films, and, as I said, they even poke a little fun at that sort of thing.
True, they do show him shooting a bow and arrow at one point- hence the nickname- and it plays an important role in the ending scene, but overall, they aren't hitting you over the head with it. The character is a professor at the local college, and speaks accordingly, like any other teacher you'd hear.
Let me clarify for the PC police that may be reading this. As much as too much of that sort of thing can drive me up a wall, I do completely understand how, for instance, an Asian person watching Sixteen Candles- or anyone else with a lick of sense, really- could be offended by the character of Long Duk Dong, much less the even worse one in Breakfast at Tiffany's played by Mickey Rooney.
People defend it because actor Gedde Wantanabe has deft comedic timing, which admittedly makes the character funny at times, but many are also appalled because of the godawful, dated stereotypical nature of the character itself. You see what I mean?
Similarly, if you look at most of Hollywood's portrayals of Native Americans back in the day, they're patently offensive more often than not. While I don't doubt there was a time when NA were still learning the language where they maybe spoke in measured tones, the way a lot of people- including English-speaking Americans, I might add- do when they're just learning a second language for the first time.
But let's face it, after a certain point, the amount of Native Americans who were raised to speak English from the time they were born was decidedly high enough for them to speak it just fine. And we passed go on that point a LONG time ago.
As such, it's sort of ludicrous that that halting way of speaking persisted long after it was first a thing. In other words, it's a cliché and stereotype unto itself, and kind of offensive that Hollywood kept doing it. So, say what you will about Track of the Moon Beast, and there is plenty ridiculous about the film, to be sure, at least they get that right.
Moving on to the silly stuff, though, there is plenty to savor here, as anyone who caught Mystery Science Theater 3000's take on the flick can attest. From the oft-laughable dialogue ("My guess is that there is some unusual element in this fragment that synchronizes with that larger mass over there and it produces some kind of energy reaction," notes the Professor after cartoonish laser-like bolts shoot out of the meteor fragment he's holding to another one in a science exhibit) to the ridiculous special effects- check out the old-school slow dissolve they use to show the transformation from man to lizard- this is undeniably a film ripe for making fun of with your friends.
I was particularly amused by the fact that the leading man, Chase Cordell, spends so much time with his shirt off, you could be forgiven for thinking you're watching a CW show or an installment of Twilight. I mean, it's noticeable to the extreme: when we first meet him, shirtless; when he goes to the doctor, shirtless... you get the idea. I halfway expected there to be a scene where he shows up at one of the professor's classes shirtless to speak to the class, lol.
And this chick who plays the main guy's love interest: holy shit, her acting is... almost indescribably bad. On the plus side, she's effortlessly foxy in that way only 70's women are, so there's that, but man oh man, that acting is next-level wretched.
It's understandable that actress Leigh Drake thought the film would never see a release because the production was so troubled, apparently. My guess is she was probably hoping it wouldn't be because her performance was so terrible! It's also good for a lot of laughable moments, so I'm not hating on her for it.
Another constant source of amusement is the hacksaw editing, which looks as if it were done by the Moon Beast himself. While I imagine at least some of it was to avoid getting an unwanted rating, that only explains the scenes of violence. What to do with scenes that are so brief they barely register? I mean, I understand the desire to keep things moving, but damn!
And it's not as if it keeps the movie from having slow spots, mind you. Other scenes are so poorly edited that you'll have moments where, say, someone screams or a noise is heard and the reaction shots of those hearing said noises are so comedically long that you can't help but laugh. I mean, it like *scream*-wait-a-beat-wait-a-beat-wait-a-beat... "What was that?" Lol. There is a LOT of that sort of thing in this movie.
But you know, for all of its faults, the movie is almost impossible to hate. Sure, you can say it's a bad movie, and you'd be right, but it's still a lot of fun, with some tremendously entertaining moments. I mean, to me, a bad movie is one that bores me stiff or is actively annoying, like the bulk of Michael Bay's output. If a movie is so bad it's kinda good... I love that. Track of the Moon Beast definitely fits that bill.
As for the cast and crew, normally I would do a fairly extensive bit of background, but almost no one affiliated with this movie did much else. This was Sala's only film, period. Star Chase Cordell did a few B-movies, like Terror in the Jungle and Sins of Rachel and some TV, but that's about it. Drake had bit parts in The Return of the Living Dead and Prime Risk, but is mostly known for being a country singer.
The vast majority of the cast, this was either their only credit, or one of just a few. The one exception was drive-in movie regular Patrick Wright, who played Sheriff McCabe, the man who seeks out help from the Professor, and hilariously accepts every last thing presented to him without hesitation.
In fact, one of the things I also loved about this film is that it bypasses the whole no one believing the nature of what's really going on thing. Typically, in a Creature Feature, you have one guy running around for most of the movie, trying desperately to convince everyone there's a monster on the loose.
Here, Sheriff McCabe simply blindly accepts anything the Professor tells him, including the prospect of a T. Rex running around, or a prehistoric beastie of some kind, or even the whole Native American lizard-man legend that eventually proves to be the actual case. It's like, sure, whatever you say, man. Lol. Only in the 70's.
Wright was in all sorts of great, trashy movies throughout the late 60's (William Castle's Project X, Russ Meyer's Goodnight... and Goodbye!), the 70's (The Cheerleaders, Caged Heat, Roller Boogie, Cannonball!), the 80's (Graduation Day, Frightmare, Maniac Cop) and the early 90's (Blackbelt, The Bikini Carwash Company, A Million to Juan), making him the film's closest thing to a "star," per se.
This was director Dick Ashe's only directing credit, as well, though the co-writer of the screenplay, Charles Sinclair, was also partially responsible for the equally terrible The Green Slime. However, the big find of my research was that the film was co-written by, of all people, Bill Finger.
Now, if you're just a normal human that's not a nerd, that name may not mean anything to you, but if you're a big geek, then you certainly know that name. Finger is best-known as a comic book writer- but not just any comic book writer, mind you. He's the guy who co-created freaking BATMAN, for God's sake.
Granted, he wasn't given the credit he deserved for it in his lifetime- most people associate Batman with Bob Kane, if they know that sort of thing in the first place- but he's since been acknowledged for it, even garnering an award named in his honor at San Diego Comic Con for Best Writing in Comics, which is presented every year.
Finger wrote the first two Batman stories in Detective Comics back in the day, contributed heavily to the creation of The Joker, The Penguin, The Riddler, Robin, Catwoman, and, later on, created Lana Lang for the Superboy comics, as well as Kryptonite, and worked extensively on The Green Lantern in the character's first incarnation. In other words, to put it mildly, the guy's a legend. (For more, check out the recent Hulu doc Batman & Bill.)
In spite of the film's lack of prestige, Finger notwithstanding, Track of the Moon Beast is a lot of fun and highly recommended for fans of bad movies and B-movies and all things Creature Feature. It's not the best example of the sub-genre you'll ever see, but it's a good time, that's for sure. Plus, there's a sweet recipe for stew!
The film is readily available on DVD, with or without those rascals at MST3000. Check it out! 👦💥😨👽💪💀💥
Now sing it with me... "California Lady..."
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