As I briefly mentioned in my last article, Birmingham is now on full lockdown, which meant that my move seemingly had to wait, as I couldn't rent a Uhaul, the facility being closed and all. However, I found someone with a truck willing to help me move for gas money and the requisite beer/pizza combo.
It will almost certainly take several trips to pull off, but, on the plus side, most of my stuff was already in storage, so I basically just have a roomful of stuff and a few other stray items here and there. I don't really have much in the way of furniture, save my bed, a few book & movie racks, a dresser, a portable drawer, and an office desk & chair. So, I'm guessing maybe 3-4 trips, tops.
Also on the plus side, gas is cheap right now, but the distance between here and my mom's is fairly considerable, so the less trips it takes, the better. My family also agreed to help, so that will likely decrease the amount of trips it takes, but using the truck for the bed, dresser and the larger racks is inevitable. (Edit: I've already moved most of the smaller stuff as of this Thursday, and I'm scheduled to do most, if not all of the rest this weekend.)
Even so, it should be cheaper than a Uhaul, so there's that. And, having already turned in our six-week notice, we get our deposit back as well, so long as we're out within the given time range, which should be no problem now. That means I'll have more money than I do now, at least, even after paying off the guy who's helping me, which is good.
Health-wise, I'm still doing good. The pollen is wreaking havoc on my allergies, but I'll take that over the virus any day. I don't go out much at all, so it's not as bad as it could be. My roommate also found someone to help him move, so, in that sense, things are looking up.
But it's a good thing we're getting out of here, as this thing doesn't seem to be ending anytime soon, and having lots of people in one area (I live in an apartment complex), even within their own given rooms, makes me nervous. In the meantime, we always have movies...
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As luck would have it, no sooner had HBO & Cinemax gone away than we got Showtime, The Movie Channel and others- and those didn't go away after the weekend, either, like the former. We had those channels for a full week, and then, I'll be damned if we didn't get Encore and some other stuff over this past weekend to boot. I haven't checked today, so we might still have that. (Edit: We do, as of this week.)
As such, we've been watching lots of movies because there isn't much else to do, save go online, and that's gotten old because we've both been doing so much of it. That said, I carved out a few days to write this article and edit and post it, as I won't be able to write steadily until my move is complete. (On the negative end, my TV up and died out of nowhere- suck it, Philips- and my DVD-R won't R anymore. 😠)
So, without further ado, here's a look at some of the stuff I've been watching lately, with an emphasis on horror this time out...
The Final Wish
Co-written and produced by Jeffrey Reddick, of the Final Destination series fame, with an assist from relative newcomer Jonathan Doyle and producer William Halfon (the TV-movie Where the Truth Lies), and direction by Timothy Woodward, Jr. (American Violence), The Final Wish is basically a variation of the old genie in the bottle mythos, only minus the genie... sort of. So, more like the old story "The Monkey's Paw," if the paw were more insistent.
The hook here is that one doesn't even have to touch the item in question- in this case, an old urn- to activate it. You just have to make a wish in the general vicinity of it, and it has to be in the possession of you or your family. So, basically, you just have to say out loud, something like: "Damn, I wish I had some money right now" and voila! Money will present itself- albeit at a price, but of course.
The more one uses the urn, the more powerful it becomes, and the more powerful it becomes, the more insistent it becomes, messing with you until you make more wishes. The goal is to get you to make seven wishes, at which point it takes your soul. For those who make the age-old argument of why not wish none of this ever happened in the first place when things start going sideways, the movie is way ahead of you, but there are still some decent twists here and there.
For instance, the genie doesn't present as a genie at all, but rather, can assume the form of other people- typically people you know, so as to better dupe you- or torment you, as the case may be. It can also cause hallucinations, making you unsure of what is real or not. That said, otherwise, this basically functions as a typical movie of this type, a la Wishmaster, Djinn or Wish Upon. It does go for a bleaker ending than some of these movies, but it kind of fumbles the execution, I'm afraid, which may confuse some people.
Michael Welch, of the Twilight movies and the TV show Z Nation, plays the lead role, Aaron, a down-on-his-luck, would-be lawyer, who's having trouble getting established and is about to be evicted from his apartment. When his father dies, he begrudgingly comes home for the funeral and to help his mother out for a while. Everyone there thinks he's huge success- a "big city lawyer," as it were, but he's anything but.
Meanwhile, his smoking hot ex-GF, Lisa (Melissa Bolona, The Institute, Acts of Violence) has married the town bully-turned-cop, Derek (Kaiwi Lyman, Den of Thieves), who is still a jerk and may be abusing his wife. His old friends are burn-outs, and his mother has seemingly gone off the deep end entirely. As you might guess, all of this gives him plenty of reasons to start making wishes, and they start coming true before he even realizes what's happening, since, as I mentioned, you don't have to touch the urn and say "I wish" this or that, you just have to say it out loud, period.
I'm not gonna lie- this is all pretty standard stuff, aside from the whole genie tormenting you with hallucinations until you make more wishes and posing as other people to trick you thing, I think. It's been a hot minute since I've seen the Wishmaster movies, so the genie there may have adopted similar tactics. But if you've seen any of the movies I mentioned, you know the drill- each wish comes with a price, and that price gets worse, the more wishes you make.
The real draw here is the presence of two bona fide horror icons: Lin Shaye (the Insidious series), as Aaron's mother, who camps it up, big-time, and is often funny in her over-the-top delivery; and Tony "Candyman" Todd as Colin, the local librarian, who knows a thing or two about a thing or two, while seeming like he knows more than he lets on- as does his assistant. (Perhaps needless to say, the film leaves the door open for a sequel, so that may part of it.)
Spencer Locke, also of Insidious fame (specifically, the last one, The Last Key), as well as the Resident Evil series (she was "K-Mart"), crops up as someone who had to deal with the urn before, via her father, who went crazy as a result and murdered most of his family in the process- not a spoiler, as it's shown in the first scene. A horror-related fun fact: Aaron's house is the same one used in Annabelle: Creation.
All of the above cast are fine, but the rest of the cast is a bit iffy. Welch seems like he's sleepwalking through the movie- maybe he should have played one of the hallucinations, lol- and Bolona is gorgeous, but barely reacts to anything, making her seem a bit emotionless and hard to root for, in spite of her character's circumstances. I certainly wasn't rooting against her- she's the victim of abuse, after all- but the bad acting made it hard to relate to her because Bolona's performance was so flat. Maybe she should stick to modeling. Points for the bubble bikini, though. 😜
All in all, this isn't anything you haven't seen, or possibly read before. You can probably predict most of the twists, and the ones you might not see coming are clumsily handled. It also lacks the "fun" factor of Reddick's signature horror series, the Final Destination films, though having Todd onboard doesn't hurt, and Shaye is always a hoot. Still, if I hadn't watched this for free, I doubt I would have sought it out. In other words, there's a reason this probably didn't make it in theatres. It's a pass for me, I'm afraid.
Ambition
Lin Shaye strikes again in this film, produced and directed by her brother, Robert, of the Nightmare on Elm Street and Lord of the Rings series fame. He's the former CEO and co-chairman of New Line Cinema, aka the "studio that Freddy built." (On account of massive success of the NOES series, which was used to build New Line into a major studio to be reckoned with.)
Shaye now runs Unique Features, an indie film company that mostly does low budget flicks, like this one, but also the occasional TV series, like the cult hit Shadowhunters, as well as the film that spawned it, The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones. This film is the first thing he's directed himself in over a decade. His sister Lin only has a cameo in Ambition- but it's a fun one.
The movie revolves around ambitious musician Jude (the lovely Katherine Hughes, from TV's Kingdom), who is preparing for a big competition, which may well determine her fate as a violinist. Not exactly helping matters is the fact that her hugely gifted predecessor killed herself right before her career was poised to take off, caving under the pressure of the rigors of the trade. Or did she? Was she, in fact, actually pushed off the building she reportedly took a dive off of?
Either way, Jude is there by default, and knows it. She also knows she doesn't have much time to prepare, being a last- minute substitution, and her teacher, Murphy (Bryan Batt, Mad Men, Scream: The TV Series), is a total slave driver. Will Jude be able to rise to the occasion, as other events conspire to throw her even further off her game? Therein lies this movie.
Jude lives with two women with ambitions of their own: Veronica (Kyanna Simone, Black Lightning) and Sarah (Sonoya Mizuno, Ex Machina, Annihilation), and is next-door neighbors with the stalker-esque Steve (Dylan McNamara, Euphoria) and his newly-minted British roommate, Dave (Giles Matthey, True Blood), who may not have moved there by coincidence. There's also her semi-long-distance BF, Ben (John Kroft, Red Oaks), who may not be as sweet and trustworthy as he seems.
All of the above, including Jude's teacher, may have had something to do with her predecessor's untimely death, or know more about it than they let on. As Jude tries to get to the bottom of things, as well as prepare for the competition, things around her get crazier and crazier, and her classmate isn't the only one to die under mysterious circumstances. With the way things are going, will Jude even make it to her recital?
Ambition is actually more of a suspense-thriller than an outright horror movie- think Hitchcock by way of Brian De Palma, only not quite up to the level of either. But then, few are, so we'll but Shaye some slack there. What it is, however, is a decent little movie, with reasonably involving characters you mostly care about- only Steve is a bit iffy, what with his constant hovering around the girls, especially Jude. Others only show their true colors later on- and most of them do have something to hide, as it turns out.
Astute viewers will probably see the biggest twist coming ahead of the curve, and the movie doesn't help itself by dropping hints about what's to come, left and right. Fair warning: if you hate those movies that endlessly quote other movies, a la the Scream series, this is probably not the movie for you, as it does quite a bit of that, what with the "movie quote" game being a running theme throughout. That part of it was a little annoying (and self-incriminating, as it reveals certain things about what's coming in a decidedly non-subtle way), but overall, I enjoyed the film.
The cast is really great, especially the likable lead, Hughes, who has fantastic chemistry with Matthey- loved the house-to-house duet via the windows between the two. I'm also a big fan of the super-sexy Mizuno (seen above), who you might also recognize from the TV shows Maniac and Devs. She's also a wonderful dancer, as seen here, in this hypnotic- and more than a little bit freaky music video from the Chemical Brothers and Beck.
While never quite as good as it clearly aspires to be, it's not a bad little thriller, even if, with a little judicious editing, it could play like gangbusters on, say, the Lifetime network. That may sound like a slam, but those movies can have their charms. My point is, if you're expecting more of a gore-fest, a la the Nightmare flicks, this isn't that, nor, despite the similar qualities (i.e. the endless movie-quoting), is it in the vein of a Scream. This is much more subtle and tightly-wound, though not without a little blood, here and there.
I'd say check it out if you don't mind a good murder mystery, just know that, if you know your stuff, you might not be fooled by it. But hey, even having figured it out, I still enjoyed the film. If anything, I left it thinking that Shaye should direct more often. I quite liked Book of Love and The Last Mizsy, though neither one of those qualify as horror. The script, written by relative newcomers John Rocco and Jenna Lyn Wright, both making their feature film writing debuts, also isn't bad, if a tad derivative. But then, what isn't, really?
Intruders
Speaking of somewhat derivative, there's this home invasion horror flick, not to be confused with the 2011 Clive Owen horror flick of the same name, or 2015's The Intruders, with iCarly star Miranda Cosgrove (see my review of that film here). This flick, also known as Shut-In and Deadly Home, is also from 2015, and from one of the executive producers of Paranormal Activity and Insidious, Steven Schneider, as well as actress-turned-producer Christa Campbell (the last two Texas Chainsaw Massacre flicks, the Hellboy reboot), and a host of other producers mostly known for their genre efforts.
The set-up is this: When an agoraphobic woman, Anna (Beth Riesgraf, Stranger Things, Criminal Minds) can't bring herself to leave the house for the funeral of her beloved brother Conrad (Timothy T. McKinney, The Highwaymen), she runs into trouble when some local thugs (Jack Kesy, Joshua Mikel and Martin Starr), having heard Conrad has been stashing big money away in his house, invade her home. Though she could have easily fled before they became aware of her presence, she hasn't left the house in over 10 years, since her father died.
Eventually, they do realize she's there and threaten to kill her if she doesn't reveal the location of the cash, which, ironically, is on the kitchen countertop the whole time, in a paper sack. However, to be fair, someone in the house is clearly a hoarder, likely the two siblings' father, so you can forgive anyone with being overwhelmed at finding anything in that house. Anyway, after a certain point, things take an unexpected turn, and that's when they get genuinely interesting.
Basically, this is a home invasion thriller with a #metoo/ #timesup-style twist that suits our own current situation to a T. After all, who can't relate right about now to wanting desperately to be able to leave the house, but not being able to, no matter how much one wants to? Of course, our scenario is more about avoiding an unseen killer- a virus- but you get my drift.
Written by C.J. Cimfel (No Tell Motel) and David White (V/H/S Viral), and directed by Adam Schindler (Delivery: The Beast Within), Intruders is a film that definitely takes a hot minute to get going- but when it does, as they say, Katy bar the door- or, in this case, Anna- and she absolutely does. And the windows. And the basement. And everything else you can think of. There's a lot going on in this house is all I'm saying.
Now, how believable is all this? Hard to say. But movies being movies, I think most people will just go with it. Besides, the twists are fun, and it's great to see what appears to be a defenseless captor turn the tables on her would-be attackers. I won't say any more than that, except to note that it's those twists that make the movie, so if the first thirty minutes or so seem like the sort of thing you've seen a dozen times before, hang in there, because the latter half of the film gets pretty interesting- and unique.
Now, there are any number of films I could compare this to, or at least a combination of several films, but I don't want to give anything away about the twists, so I'll quit while I'm ahead, and just say that Anna is a great character, and it's cool to see someone who comes off as so hopeless early on take control of her situation and turn the odds back in her favor. While certain things here might strain credibility to a degree, overall, I thought it was well-plotted and definitely well-executed. By all means, check it out, especially if you like horror movies with a strong female protagonist.
They Remain
Another flick about living in isolation, They Remain is mostly centered around two characters: Keith (William Jackson Harper, of Midsommar & The Good Place) and Jessica (Rebecca Henderson, Russian Doll & Westworld), two scientists that used to date and are thrown back together by a shadowy governmental organization to investigate a Manson-style cult's former stomping grounds, where there have been reports of strange goings-on, including the disappearance of several people and possibly their own immediate predecessors.
Based on the short story "-30-" by Laird Barron, and written and directed by Philip Gelatt (The Bleeding House, Love, Death & Robots), They Remain is not an easy watch. Some may find it boring, and I'm not going to lie: I nodded off a bit here and there, as it was pretty late when I watched it. As such, it may not be for everyone.
However, there are certain movies that establish a particular mood and manage to sustain it for the whole of their running time- think Natural Born Killers, Spring Breakers and Under the Skin- and this is definitely one of them. If you're looking for a mood piece to drift off to, this is a perfect selection. If, on the other hand, you're looking for something spellbinding and edge of your seat, this is not the film for you. It's absolutely a film that seeks to be hypnotic and odd, and, on that front, it succeeds.
But action-oriented, it is not. Very little of consequence happens in this film. There's lots of shots of nature and the woods and so forth, as well as lots of shots of the two scientists at work in their makeshift tents. Basically, one of them, Keith, is tasked with exploring the surrounding area, most of which is made up of a forest, while the other one, Jessica, takes notes and studies the samples she and Keith collect in the area. As the film goes on, the two seem to lose it and go a little crazy, if not outright nuts.
The film ends on an open-ended and open-to-interpretation note, and purposefully so. As such, some may be disappointed that more isn't explained and that we aren't spoon-fed exactly what went on. If you watched Lost, and felt that they explained too much, as opposed to too little, then this isn't the film for you. There are no easy answers here, and very little explanation of anything, period. Almost everything is left up to the viewer to interpret. If that doesn't sound appealing to you, it won't be, trust me.
Also, I happen to like that sort of thing, but even I was a bit bored by the film. The pacing is glacial, very little of consequence happens, and the film seems content to just be weird for the sake of being weird. People often accuse director David Lynch of such things, but to me, there's a method to his madness. This seems more random and without any real point to it.
There are cool moments, to be sure- I liked how Jessica mentioned hearing voices in the night, and later on, we see and hear Keith doing those things, after having denied seeing or doing anything. There's distinct possibility that, not unlike the aforementioned Lost, that we're seeing things in non-chronological order, which can be confusing, especially if you're not expecting it, or used to such an approach.
That said, though I'm the first to admit it's a challenging watch, I didn't hate it, and I do think that it's a film that would likely benefit from multiple viewings. I'd also very much like to read the story it was based on and then rewatch it again. I have a feeling that it would illuminate a lot of things that weren't clear the first time around. Whatever the case, this is definitely not a film that will appeal to everyone. It's kind of like Annihilation minus any real action, save maybe the last fifteen minutes or so.
I don't think it's the sort of thing that will appeal to everyone, and indeed, it's probably not the kind of thing even fans will want to watch over and over, unless they want something to fall asleep to. But it has its charms, and I do like star Harper's choices in general. He's an interesting actor, who tends to lean towards more cerebral offerings, and I dig that in an actor. As such, I'll probably watch him in most anything he does, and I can't say that about many actors.
So, check it out if you dig challenging watches, thinking man's sci-fi and oddball indie offerings. Also, the cinematography, by Sean Kirby (Zoo, Cthulhu), is pretty breathtaking and almost worth seeing the film in and of itself. They Remain definitely has its moments, but it's not for the average viewer, that's for sure. It's got cult movie written all over it, literally and figuratively.
Double Date
Of all the horror movies I watched, this one was absolutely my favorite. It's a fun, funny, blast of old-school horror with some modern touches that set it apart from other, similar offerings. It's kind of the sort of thing Edgar Wright and Peter Jackson did early on in their respective careers, only with a fairly distinct tone of its own. Think House of the Devil if it played more as a slapstick comedy. Or a horror version of American Pie. Sort of.
Here's the general plot. Jim (Danny Morgan, On the Road, who also scripted the movie) is a twenty-something virgin that can't seem to make things happen with the ladies, despite his best efforts. His best friend, Alex (Michael Socha, Once Upon a Time, Killers Anonymous) is a lusty lothario that thinks he's more appealing to women than he really is, but really does try his best to make things happen for his friend, often to no avail.
That all changes one night when the two meet the gorgeous, forthright Kitty (Kelly Wenham, Dracula: The Dark Prince) and her younger, shyer sister, Lulu (Georgia Groome, Angus, Thongs & Perfect Snogging), who are the respective perfect matches for the two opposite guys. One catch: the two ladies are picking up men and taking them back to their place to kill them off, in hopes of resurrecting their dearly departed dad, who was a warlock. You know, that old story, lol.
Actually, like many of the films on this list, this one has some clear sources of inspiration. In addition to a comedic vibe that plays like Edgar Wright doing a spin on The Forty-Year-Old Virgin, there's nods to The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and pretty much any movie you can name about murderous witches, notably Vampyres. And, being a British film, it has a unique vibe that sets it apart from most films of this type. I can't begin to say how much I enjoyed this one.
There are some undeniable set-pieces here, notably Jim's pathetic attempts to pick up women early on, his hilariously embarrassing birthday celebration with his family, a visit to Alex's deadbeat dad (Dexter Fletcher, who recently directed the Elton John biopic Rocketman), and a great, knock-down, drag-out fight between Alex and Kitty that is alone almost worth the price of admission- it's like that scene in True Romance between Patricia Arquette and James Gandolfini, only more evenly matched. And did I mention Wenham is fit? Like, REALLY fit. You could bounce a half dollar off those abs. Yum. 😍
There's also some solid gore and the big finale is a lot of fun. I just loved it, and can't wait to watch it again sometime. This one is the one genuine keeper in this bunch- I absolutely saved the best for last here. Granted, some people don't care for the whole comedy-horror thing, but if it's done right, as it is here, I don't mind it. If it's straight-forward horror you're looking for, this isn't the film for you.
But if you like a few laughs spliced into the gory proceedings, you're gonna love this one, and worry not, those who don't care for British humor- these laughs are universal, being as how they center on things everyone can relate to- being hapless with the opposite sex, dealing with cringe-worthy family, and the peer pressure outcasts feel not fitting in, but longing to.
If you're gonna check out one film on this list, this is the one I most recommend, though, in terms of more straight horror, I suppose one could do worse than Intruders. That said, I quite enjoyed most of these films, and don't regret watching any of them. Considering how little I knew about most of them going in, that's saying something in and of itself.
Well, that about does it for now. I've got my big move coming up, so hang in there, as I'm not sure how long it will take to get moved and settled and what have you. I'll be back ASAP, and hopefully get things back to normal soon, especially with little going on, in light of the whole self-quarantining thing. Once I get moved in and ready to go, writing's probably all I'll have to do, save the usual reading, watching movies & TV and listening to music. See you soon, and thanks, as always for reading- stay safe everybody! 😷
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