When the first thing you see on the screen is a production company named "End Of All Cinema," you kinda know what you're in for. There are two kinds of bad movies: movies that are so bad they're good, and movies that are just plain bad. One could add a third sub-category to these, as well: movies that are intentionally bad.
Being intentionally bad is a tricky bit of business. For every John Waters that totally gets what makes these sorts of movies tick and how to do it themselves, there's about fifty that only think they do. The proof is in the execution, obviously. If it feels true to what its paying homage to, it works; if not... um, well, it kinda just ends up sucking in the worst of ways, which is to say, by being virtually unwatchable.
I think the trick is that filmmakers like Ed Wood and Ray Dennis Steckler weren't intentionally setting out to make bad movies- they just turned out that way, time and again. The reason being a general incompetency with filmmaking basics, bad scripting, bad acting, cheap sets and costuming, etc. Put it all together, and you have a highfalutin professional movie critic's worst nightmare, but a bad film aficionado's dream come true.
The problem with intentionally trying to be bad on purpose is that, if you're a generally competent filmmaker, it's hard to get these things wrong on purpose in a way that doesn't draw attention to itself. Someone like Waters succeeds by not trying so hard to get things wrong- instead he gets the filmmaking basics right, and focuses instead on making the scripts, characters and actors playing them as outrageous as possible, which is why it works.
Compare that to modern filmmakers that toss in intentional "mistakes," like film scratches and wonky sound and so forth. Yes, Grindhouse does a pretty good job of it- especially those faux trailers- but filmmakers that don't have the budget to pull off something like that competently: not so much. Frog-g-g! is a perfect example of what happens when the filmmakers' hearts are in the right place, but their execution is slightly off.
We start off just fine: a kid out picnicking by the lake comes across a freaky looking thing in the water that snaps at him when he pokes it with a stick. We've seen this sort of thing dozens of times in Creature Features: see, for instance, The Blob, or the "The Lonesome Tale of Jordy Verrill" segment in the EC horror homage Creepshow. We know from the title and the poster art that this is a monster movie- so far, so good.
The film then takes a hard left into sexploitation, as we see two lovely lesbians getting it on, with lots of excessive tongue action. Okay, granted, that sort of comes with the territory, but still- talk about a tonal shift! As the credits roll, and an admittedly funky, pseudo-psychedelic tune plays, I found myself wondering if I was about to watch a monster movie or a Russ Meyer-style sex romp. Maybe a little of both?
Then, of all things, the film basically plays it completely straight for a solid thirty minutes or so. It's basically a SyFy Saturday night Creature Feature, albeit with a heavy 70's vibe, down to the improbably hot EPA agent sent to investigate the weird goings-on in a small town, which reminded me a bit of that X-Files episode about the cockroaches with Dr. Bambi, the sexy entomologist.
Which is sort of the problem. I didn't think of something cheesy or bad, like Slithis- I thought of something solidly made, like The X-Files or Mimic or what have you. This, in and of itself, isn't a problem. I mean, if this had turned out to be a surprisingly well-done Creature Feature along those lines, that would have been perfectly fine. But this particular monster movie wants to have its flies and eat them, too.
The big tonal shift begins in earnest around forty minutes in. Before that, the film is relatively straight-forward. Sure, there's some clichéd dialogue and some vaguely overbaked acting before then, but it's neither over-the-top or laughably bad enough to truly qualify as camp. Instead, it verges on, like I said, pretty competent.
This all changes around the time that the giant, mutant, man-sized frog crashes a young couple getting it on and literally Houdinis the male half of the pair and takes over, without her noticing- at first, of course. Then she realizes what has happened when she spots her former lover on the floor and sees that someone else- or something else- is on top of her.
From there on out, the film becomes a sort of Humanoids of the Deep-lite, complete with the frog monster running amok at not only a football game, but a Catholic Girls' school. Hey, we've all been there, lol. Now, mind you, I can't say I had any objections to all this. If anything, the movie was in dire need of some action of any kind by that point.
But, at the same time, it shows that the filmmakers clearly weren't entirely sure what they were really going for here. Did they want to make a solid Creature Feature, or a camp-fest? As such, the end result lands somewhere squarely in the middle- which is to say, it's neither played straight enough to take seriously, nor campy enough to be a lol-inducing bad movie fest.
Given that, your mileage may vary on this one. If any of this sounds fun to you, you'll probably be reasonably entertained to enjoy it on the whole. On the other hand, it's neither over-the-top enough in the sex/nudity or violence department to satisfy fans of that sort of thing, nor campy enough to truly qualify as so bad-it's-good.
Oh, it has a few scenes that absolutely fit the bill- in addition to the aforementioned bit with the couple, there's also a nutty ending that's like Just One of the Guys-meets-The Thing, only not as good as either. Just imagine Kurt Russell whipping it out in the final scene and saying to the creature: "Come and get it, you bitch!" and you'll get the idea. (See the poster below for what Dr. Hottie actually says to the titular terror, which is admittedly hilarious.)
So, yeah, Frog-g-g! is just barely passable as a campy Creature Feature- it lacks the courage of its convictions, though star Kristi Russell- no relation to Kurt, insofar as I know- at least goes for broke where it counts, doing lots of gratuitous, but not-at-all unwelcome nudity when she's not making with the science.
For the record, the science actually sounds relatively on-point, which is fine, but also seems like a missed opportunity, as these films typically have ridiculous scientific jargon that sounds completely made up, not realistic. But that's my point- the film just doesn't fully commit to the inherent campy nature of a lot of this stuff, so when it finally does about halfway through, it's actually kind of jarring.
On the plus side, the guy playing the frog, John Ponzio (who actually has some solid credits on his resume, including The Dark Half and several bit parts on It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia) really goes for it, in terms of committing to the whole Frog-man thing. He hops around, jumps on fences- and the ladies, but of course- with real aplomb, and nearly steals the movie with a happy dance over the end credits to his very own theme song, another thing the film gets right.
Actually, the music is worth shouting out, with Glam Spice Generation providing the catchy theme song ("The Frog That You Love"), as well as the title credits tune ("Odyssey Erotesy"- a title possibly funnier than anything else in the movie). There's also a song from, of all people, Enuff Z'Nuff- if you have to ask, click on this link. Rounding out the festivities are tracks from Steve Plunkett & The Grits, Supersonic Love Machine, Teen Machine and Will Flint.
The film is written and directed by Cody Jarrett, who also wrote some of the aforementioned music, including the theme song, the opening credits song, and the Teen Machine track, a band which he is a member of to this day. Jarrett started out in film as an actor, cropping up in the Andrew Dice Clay vehicle, The Adventures of Ford Fairlane, before transitioning to filmmaking, making commercials, music videos and documentaries.
As I mentioned, he's actually a pretty competent filmmaker, which may be why he can't quite commit to going full camp here. It's worth mentioning that he's gotten better since this film, with the women's prison flick homage Sugar Boxx a big step up from this one, regularly cropping up on Showtime from time to time. With cameos from cult legends Jack Hill (Foxy Brown), Tura Satana (Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!) and Jacqueline Scott (Duel), it's well-worth a watch. He's also working on a documentary on Satana, for all you fans.
Speaking of cameos, this film does feature a couple of them, including a blink-and-you'll-miss-it one from Frank the Bunny himself, James Duval, who most of you probably know from his work with director Gregg Araki, as well as Donnie Darko. Here, he plays a would-be rapist, though you can barely tell it's him, the scene is so darkly shot.
Considerably more gratifying is a cameo at the end from B-movie stalwart Mary Woronov (everything from Death Race 2000 to Eating Raoul to The Devil's Rejects), who gets to (literally) deliver the film's final twist, which anyone who's seen this sort of thing will see coming a mile away, but is still a lot of fun.
Although the frog-man himself sports a chintzy costume that looks straight out of a Party City or the like, the other FX is actually pretty nifty, especially the smaller critters. They don't do much, but they look neat enough. The mutant fish is cool looking as well. Alas, the climax aside, the film doesn't do enough with the mutant creature angle, I'm afraid.
I suppose this is entertaining enough for a mild recommendation, so long as you know that it isn't nearly as campy as it could be, and never quite rises to the level of a true modern-day cult classic. But it does have its moments, including the amusing bit at the football game, where the frog-man briefly joins in the game for a moment (!) and the stuff I already mentioned.
It's basically a half-assed Humanoids of the Deep rip-off that is redeemed somewhat by decent directing, a good turn from star Russell and some solid nudity, for those into that sort of thing. (It made the "Top 25 of 2005" on the website Mr. Skin, for whatever that's worth.) I don't know if it's going to make anyone's fave cult movie list- it's too middle of the road for all that- but it's a pleasant enough time-waster, I suppose. Ribbit! 🐸😜
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