My mother is retired, but she's doing relatively well because she does have savings and retirement funds and so forth, plus access to food stamps, and she said she can easily accommodate my needs in the food and shelter department. It's hopefully just a temporary measure, but better to do it now before I've hit rock bottom than later on. At best, my roommate and I would have only made it for another month or so without paid work- maybe two, tops.
We've already turned in our six weeks notice, and I will be packing and moving soon. So, out of necessity, I will have to take a break from writing sooner than later. I was already planning on taking a break anyway, so this will just be what I already said was coming soon in previous articles. I estimate that I'll be able to write at least 2-3 articles, maybe a little more, before I have to take a break. It's not that I haven't been watching movies. I just have a limited amount of time to write about them, with the impending move. But I'll do what I can and keep you posted accordingly. (Edit: Looks like Birmingham is on lockdown for the time being, so we will have to wait on the move for now.)
Apologies for all the inconsistencies, but it is what it is. Once I get moved and settled, though, I expect things to get back to normal, but we'll see. Like I said, I'll keep you posted. Thanks in advance for your understanding in this matter, but I think I'm putting it mildly when I say that it's a crazy time for all of us, so I'm sure you all can relate.
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We just have basic cable at our place, and even that I wouldn't care about, but my roommate wanted access to local channels and you have to get cable to do it, so there you go. Aside from movies, I mostly watch stuff online at this point, but I do watch a few network shows here and there, and every once and awhile, we get a free movie channel preview of something or the other. The weekend before last, we got HBO and Cinemax. This past weekend, we got Showtime and The Movie Channel and some others.
In this article, I'll be tackling the stuff I watched on HBO and Cinemax. I'll deal with last weekend's stuff next time, and after that, a few stragglers I watched on Blu-Ray before everything went sideways and I stopped going to libraries and stores and the like. Not that I had much choice, as they closed the libraries outright recently, and I wouldn't step foot in a department store if you paid me, anyway. I've basically just been sticking to grocery stores, and then, only if I absolutely have to. I'm OCD as it is, so it's a miracle I haven't gone full agoraphobic by now. After I move, I probably will, quite frankly. 😷
Anyway, let's get it started...
Cold Pursuit
Of all the stuff I watched, this was easily the biggest surprise. I tuned in begrudgingly, thinking it would just be another typical Liam Neeson action flick, but it was way better than that. Indeed, it's one of his best since he became Hollywood's go-to action guy of a certain age. But on paper, it admittedly sounds ridiculous. The short version is: a renegade snowblower goes on a murderous rampage to avenge the murder of his son. Yep, snowblower. So, it's "Cold Pursuit," instead of "Hot Pursuit"- get it? It's like Homer Simpson's "Mr. Plow" gone psycho, basically.
Here's the more elaborate version: Liam Neeson is a pillar of the Colorado community, Nels Coxsman (lol), who was just awarded "Citizen of the Year." He operates a snowplow and clears the roads between the smaller towns and the ski resort town of Kehoe, so that everyone can get from one place to another and do their jobs and tourists can get to town in the first place, thus keeping the economy flush and business humming.
Things take a turn when his son turns up dead of a heroin overdose, in spite of the fact that, to the best of his knowledge, his son didn't use drugs at all. The people in charge of the investigation aren't so sure, and give him the standard "That's what every parent says." Just as he's at his lowest, and even contemplating suicide after his wife (Laura Dern, breezing in to collect an easy paycheck) leaves him, a friend of his son turns up and tells him his son's death was no accident and that someone was indeed responsible.
Coxsman gets a name from the "friend": Speedo. Please note that almost everyone in this thing has a goofy name, which only adds to the fun. Coxsman corners Speedo at a party, then beats the crap out of him for another name: Limbo- before killing and disposing of him near a local waterfall. Limbo gets the same treatment, which leads him to Santa, who earns the same fate as well, before finally getting Coxsman to the name of the head honcho of the local drug trade: Viking (Tom Bateman, Da Vinci's Demons).
Unfortunately, being a drug kingpin, he's heavily guarded, so approaching him in a similar manner isn't really an option this time around, so Coxsman begins a search for some help in that department, via a relative (William Forsythe, The Devil's Rejects), who used to work with the local drug trade as an enforcer, who, in turn, points him to a hitman named Eskimo (Arnold Pinnock, Altered Carbon), who may not be very trustworthy. Meanwhile, Viking thinks that a rival drug lord, White Bull (Tom Jackson, Skinwalkers) is the one after his guys, so he kills his son, effectively starting a drug war in the process.
Eventually, all of this comes to a head and the inevitable showdown happens, bringing to mind the climax of the far superior Wind River. What sets this film apart from a typical Neeson actioner is its sense of humor. Every time someone dies, we get a title card with their real name and their nickname, plus typically a cross. There are a LOT of title cards in this movie, perhaps needless to say. It's basically a comedy of errors, a la something like Fargo.
Some of the deaths are pretty funny, and staged in a way that is clearly meant to induce laughing, not sympathy. Not that much of anyone besides Neeson is really that sympathetic. Maybe White Bull, but he's still a drug dealer, so... yeah. But they are bumbling in a funny way, as each bit of misinformation leads to untimely death for people that didn't really deserve it, but kind of did, given their line of work. They knew what they were getting into, you know?
The end result is a hell of a lot of fun, and really made me want to see the original, In Order of Disappearance, the Norwegian flick that this is a remake of, as I suspect it might be even better, given that this version is probably Hollywood-ized, as it were. Whatever the case, they did a great job with this version, which I thoroughly enjoyed, maybe even more than any of Neeson's efforts since Taken, and this is much funnier and entertaining in a much different way than that, obviously. By all means, you should check it out- the cast is fantastic across the board, it's a hell of a lot more well-thought-out than it has any right to be, with lots of cool character actors and fun set-pieces. Highly recommended. 😉
Replicas
While I was relatively all in on Neeson as an action star, it took a little more getting used to Keanu Reeves as one. Sure, we all loved The Matrix movies- or at least the first couple- but some of his other stuff since then has been spotty at best and downright terrible at worst. But then along came the John Wick movies and suddenly Reeves was back in business in earnest again. This particular film, Replicas, was not a hit- in fact, it tanked big time at the box office, but that's what home video and movie channels are for: recouping some of that investment, which, in this case was some $30 million. (It grossed a mere $9.2 in theatres.)
Replicas tells the story of a scientist, William Foster (Reeves), who is working on transferring a human mind into that of an android, as a way of extending "life," as it were. So far, he's struck out, in spite of the best efforts of him and his partner, Ed Whittle (Thomas Middleditch, of Silicon Valley, firmly in his wheelhouse), much to the consternation of their boss, Jones (John Ortiz, the Fast & Furious movies), who warns them that their funding may run dry if they don't get results soon.
Jones suggests that Foster take a brief vacation to clear his head so that he can focus better at the matter at hand. Unfortunately, tragedy strikes, and Foster and his family get into a wreck en route to take a boating trip, which wipes out everyone but Foster. He frantically calls Whittle for help and the two concoct a plan to transfer the minds of his family into clones, which is Whittle's area of expertise. There's a catch, naturally: they've never pulled it off, and, even worse, Whittle only has enough material to do three people, and Foster's is a family of four.
As such, Foster is forced to choose which one of his family will not be resurrected, if it even works. Unable to choose, and with Whittle refusing to do it for him, he literally draws a name from a bowl after writing the names of his entire family on pieces of paper and pulls out the one who won't be brought back! (Not exactly Sophie's Choice, is it?) The loser, as it were, is his youngest daughter. To help facilitate things, he wipes the memory of her from the rest of the family- at least, in theory- but, of course, he will have to live with it.
The process works, but naturally, something seems off about his family when they return. On the plus side, things don't necessarily go in the direction you're thinking, which is good. While the movie certainly owes a debt to stuff like the Frankenstein book/movies and more recent efforts like Ex Machina and Westworld, it ultimately opts to go for the road less taken and avoid the whole scientist who should have left things alone and moved on, but who lives to pay the price for playing God route. Yes, he still pays a price- after all, his daughter is dead, no matter what happens- but it's not in the way you might think.
Instead, the film goes in the direction of - spoiler alert- the whole evil corporation thing, as in the people who Foster works for are the real villains here, not his resurrected family. I won't spoil any more than that, except to say that things definitely take a turn near the end into something you probably won't expect or see coming. I don't know how realistic any of this is, and the reviews weren't kind to the film, pointing out the many flaws in plotting and plot-holes in the storyline, but I had fun with it, give or take a few dopey moments.
Some of us have seen Reeves do the scientist thing before, in the even dopier Chain Reaction, and I can honestly say that this film is at least better than that one- not that it's saying much, mind you. Reeves has gotten better in time as an actor, so he's far more convincing here that he was in that film, and the supporting actors, especially Middleditch, are well cast- including a strong turn from Alice Eve (Star Trek Into Darkness) as Reeves' wife.
It's not some hidden gem, to be sure, but it's worth a watch on cable TV or as a rental or to stream online. I had fun with it, and at 107 minutes, it stops just short of overstaying its welcome, though it does drag a bit during the more science-intensive parts. Overall, I enjoyed it, though, as the decent time-waster it was. If you're a Reeves, Middleditch or Eve fan, you probably will, too. And that ending is a hoot! 🤖
Skyscraper
Like Liam Neeson, it seems as if there's a new Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson movie that I haven't seen on HBO every time I get a free preview. And it seems I can't help but to watch them, even though I should know better by now. I mean, don't get me wrong- in spite of how by-the-numbers many of them are, they tend to be, at the very least, watchable, and reasonably entertaining, if nothing that's going to win any awards for Best Picture or anything. Not everything has to, obviously.
This one is basically just Die Hard-meets-The Towering Inferno, only not as good as either, really. That's not to say I didn't have fun with it- just that it's no modern-day classic, either. However, it did have a few things going for it. For one, it has Scream Queen Neve Campbell in it, and it's been a hot minute since I've seen her in anything. In fact, I think it was the last Scream flick, which was back in 2011, which now seems a lifetime ago. Campbell plays The Rock's wife, which is quite a pairing.
The Rock plays a security consultant, Sawyer, hired to work on what will be the world's tallest skyscraper, "The Pearl," in Hong Kong. He, his wife and two kids are currently living in the building while he works. When he goes to check the offsite security center, he takes with him the computer tablet that controls the building's entire system. Several people, including a friend of his, try to steal it, but it isn't until Xia (the gorgeous Asian model Hannah Quinlivan) comes along that someone finally succeeds.
That accomplished, a plan is set into motion. Head villain Botha (Roland Møller, Atomic Blonde) starts a fire at the building targeting the upper floors, with the intention of trapping owner Zhao (Ng Chin Han, The Dark Knight). It works, but Zhao manages to escape to his heavily secured room, where Botha's men can't get to him- but he can't get to his helicopter to escape the building itself, either, which leaves everyone at a stalemate.
Meanwhile, Sawyer has been framed as the culprit and is evading the authorities while frantically trying to get to the building, where his family is also trapped as the fire rages on unabated. He manages to get there, not without considerable difficulty- he's forced to jump from an outside crane into the building! While all this is happening, his family is fighting for their life, first from the fire, then from Botha's henchmen.
Eventually, Botha manages to kidnap Sawyer's daughter, and holds her for ransom, forcing Sawyer to find a way into Zhao's penthouse, so that he can trade him for his daughter. Needless to say, things go awry almost every step of the way, or we wouldn't have a movie. Also needless to say, most of this is absolutely ludicrous and completely unbelievable. But hey, that's Hollywood for you.
So, yeah, this movie is patently ridiculous, but then you probably knew that from watching the previews. It's filled to the brim with action set-pieces, most of which are completely insane and defy belief. At one point Sawyer actually uses his detached leg- did I mention he lost his leg in a suicide bomber incident? - to scale the building! Yep, it's that kind of movie.
Be that as it may, the movie is still a lot of fun for non-discerning action fans, if you can turn your brain off at the door. This is basically just the movie equivalent of a roller coaster ride, you know? Try not to look into it too deeply and you should have fun with it, too, assuming any movie with The Rock in it isn't a non-starter for you, but then, you wouldn't be watching this in the first place if that were the case, would you?
I don't mind him, so this was just big dumb fun for me, and not much else of substance whatsoever. Your mileage may vary according to your tolerance of stupid action movies, but for those of us non-discerning fans who don't mind stupid, it's entertaining enough and a passable time-waster. But yeah, it's all pretty dopey. I know- what a shocker! 😱
Robin Hood
This one was a big pass for me in theatres when it came out, but I've since become a big fan of star Taron Egerton, primarily due to his role in the Kingsman movies and in Legend, though his turn as Elton John in Rocketman was also pretty impressive. As it happened to be on HBO during the free preview, I thought, what the hell? I'll give it 15 minutes or so.
I ended up getting fished in, and ultimately watched the whole thing. Not that it was the greatest thing I've ever seen or anything, but it was pretty passable entertainment, and it kept me up late, so there's that, I suppose. I know what you're thinking, because I was thinking the same thing: did we really need another Robin Hood movie? Not really. But this one isn't half bad, and is at least an improvement on the last one I saw, the Ridley Scott one, with Russell Crowe in the lead.
As with that film, this one is more of an offshoot of the story we all know. In this version, Robin Hood is a Lord, Sir Robin of Loxley, living in the lap of luxury with his hot GF, Marian (Eve Hewson, daughter of Bono, of HBO's The Knick) when he is called up to serve in the army as a soldier in the Third Crusade, to fight the Saracens, aka the Arab Muslims. He is upset by the brutality he sees, and tries to intervene in the outright execution of a teenage boy, for which he is summarily sent home.
Turns out that teen was the child of Yahya ibn Umar, aka "Little John" (Jamie Foxx), who tags along on the ship that Robin is sent back on. When they arrive, he confronts Robin, who he could have killed at one point, but didn't, and thanks him for trying to save his son. He suggests they team up to bring down the war by stealing all the money from the treasury, which was all taken from the people unlawfully by the dastardly Sheriff of Nottingham (Ben Mendelsohn, Rogue One). That includes raiding Robin's own home, BTW, leaving it all but in ruins when he returns.
That isn't all that has changed, as Marian, thinking Robin to be dead, has moved on with Will Tillman (Jamie Dornan, the Fifty Shades of Grey movies), a politician who is trying to lead an uprising of the people against the corrupt regime led by the Sheriff and the Cardinal (F. Murray Abraham, Homeland), who are actually plotting against the King and funding the Saracens in order to have him overthrown and seize the throne completely.
So, Little John trains Robin properly, and the two begin to rob the treasury, stockpiling some of the money for themselves and giving the rest back to the people. They use the money they keep to aid in getting Robin close to the Sheriff, in order to find out more about what he's up to, with Robin even offering up a reward for the thief that's been pillaging the treasury, which is, of course, himself. The gambit works and Robin becomes the Sheriff's trusted ally, eventually also getting in tight with the Cardinal.
After finding out about the Sheriff and the Cardinal's real intentions, Robin rallies the commoners to fight against the Sheriff and his men, and joins forces with Will to execute a plan to bring him down and take back all their money. I probably don't need to tell you that it succeeds, but I will also tell you that the film effectively serves as a prequel to the "story we all know," as the film puts it. It basically ends with the gang headed to the woods, where the story we do know will take place in earnest.
That's not really a spoiler, as we are told all this pretty much up front, but there are a few twists along the way, so it's not all just by the numbers. While there are definitely some slow spots, overall, it's a reasonably entertaining flick, with some decent action, and nice chemistry between the two leads, Egerton and Foxx, as well as solid support from the rest of the cast, particularly Mendelsohn and Hewson, plus a great turn by the Simon Pegg-esque Tim Minchin (Californication) as Friar Tuck.
I can see where it wouldn't be some people's quiver of arrows, as it's definitely a sort of "woke" version of the Robin Hood legend, with a rich guy learning to be a man of the people, which make strike some as a bit rote. And some of the action is admittedly a bit mechanical. It's kind of like a Guy Ritchie movie, minus his sense of humor and wit. So, basically, the Robin Hood version of that King Arthur movie, with Charlie Hunnam.
But I thought it was okay, and seeing it for free, I wasn't mad at it. It was not a success at the box office, but I can see it being a mainstay on movie channels for some time, and most of the people who would watch this sort of thing in the first place will enjoy it on the whole. I suppose that makes it worth at least a look-see to see if it's your thing or not, but I wouldn't invest money in it, unless you're a die-hard Foxx, Egerton or Mendelsohn (who does have some great villainous monologues) fan.
Johnny English Strikes Again
Speaking of acquired tastes, you're either a Rowan Atkinson fan or you aren't, really. He's arguably best-known for his Mr. Bean character, which spawned both a TV series and two movies, as well as an animated series. Atkinson specializes in slapstick humor, a la Buster Keaton or Charlie Chaplin, only with a slightly more modern edge, not unlike what Leslie Nielsen got up to in his post-dramatic career, i.e. Airplane and the Naked Gun movies, which may strike some as dated or unfunny.
His character here is basically a variation on the Steve Martin/Peter Sellers character, Inspector Clouseau, of the Pink Panther series fame, only framed more like a James Bond spoof. (Fun fact: Atkinson was actually in a Bond film: Never Say Never Again, aka Sean Connery's last Bond flick.) This is the third film in the English series, and was a big hit internationally, grossing $159 million on a mere $25 million budget, so count on there being more where this came from.
Not that it matters, really, but the plot is as follows: after a cyber-attack exposes all of MI-7's operatives, the agency has to bring back older agents out of retirement to face down the perpetrator. After English accidentally eliminates his competition in an amusing bit, he's the lone agent left standing that's viable, so he and his trusty sidekick, Bough (Ben Miller, Paddington 2), go off to hunt down the cyber villain, who turns out to be Jason Volta (Jake Lacy, The Office), a tech billionaire in the Elon Musk mold.
Volta is attempting to dupe the Prime Minister (Emma Thompson, clearly enjoying herself) into an exclusive agreement with his company for cyber security, in spite of his being the one- unbeknownst to her, of course- who is responsible for the attacks in the first place. Though English finds this out relatively early on, his bumbling causes him to lose the evidence and the PM doesn't believe him, so the deal is still intact- for now.
Therefore, it's up to English to prove Volta is evil, before he can extort the rest of the foreign leaders at the G-12 summit by threatening to shut down the internet if they don't give him what he wants. Helping him along the way is sexy Russian agent Ophelia Bhuletova (Bond girl Olga Kurylenko, Quantum of Solace), who was initially supposed to kill him, but failed miserably in a comedy of errors which led to the two joining forces instead.
It's all a bit silly, needless to say, but that's kind of Atkinson's jam, for those who don't know his work. Like I said, you'll either love it or hate it with a fiery passion- there really is no in-between. I find him reasonably amusing in a sort of sub-Monty Python sort of way. Having grown up on Leslie Nielsen's movies, though, I have a soft spot in my heart for silliness, so I enjoy Atkinson's stuff.
My favorite bits include: a outside dinner party gone horribly awry, English taking a pill that makes him overly active (and a non-stop dance machine, lol), a disastrous virtual reality run-in (and out the door) and the climactic battle which finds English in a non-cooperative suit of armor, because of course it does.
I also have a major thing for Kurylenko, so she was a big draw. She's clearly having a blast sending up the typical sexy spy, who, in this case, can't do anything right to save her life, albeit not entirely as a result of her own actions, with English mucking up the works.
Indeed, everyone involved seems to be having a lot of fun, and it's infectious to watch. In some of these movies, the actors seem to be having fun, but the viewer feels like they aren't in on it, but this is one where it really does translate to the audience as well, assuming Atkinson's approach to comedy does it for you in the first place.
It wasn't a huge hit in America, where trashy comedies still rule the roost, but that almost goes without saying. Overseas, they still love this sort of thing, and over there, it cleaned up. But I don't mind British humor, and I really enjoyed it for the most part. Yes, it's all very silly, and critics weren't kind to it from what I can tell, but movies like this are basically critic-proof. Like I said, it's either your thing or it isn't. In this case, I enjoyed it quite a bit, enough to stay up later than planned to watch it, for whatever that's worth.
Well, that about does it for now. Join me soon for a look at what went down when I subsequently had a free Showtime/Movie Channel preview the weekend following my free HBO/Cinemax preview. Hint: the movies were of a more independent nature, skewing more towards horror and suspense. Keep an eye out for that one, asap. 😉
