I'm still mulling over whether or not to do my Best Albums of the Year list, especially as a lot of them have already been referenced in my other music-related lists, so it would be a little redundant. However, what I may do is just combine it with my "songs you might not have heard" list, so that I can knock both out in one fell swoop.
But first, I'll be doing my ongoing review of the Into the Dark seasonal episodes, likely on Monday, then it'll eventually be back to normal, which means back to my old format of reviewing older movies, with the occasional article like this one, combining a slew of reviews of newer movies into one big article. I may also pepper in some old UAB reviews, as I still have quite a few I haven't reprinted here.
Hope all of you are doing alright and staying healthy, with all this Coronavirus stuff going around. Ironically, I just got over a sustained illness, in which I was basically bed-ridden, only to finally get better just as the world was going to hell in a handbasket. Go figure. I've gone from reading The Stand to living it. Ugh. Oh well, I'll do my best to entertain you as long as I can while the world goes down in flames. 🔥 😱
Let's get things started!
Parasite
Hell of a one to start off with, huh? Seems about right, though, given our current circumstances.
I first became aware of director Bong Joon-Ho via the nifty monster movie, The Host, which I read about in a horror magazine (likely Fangoria) and ordered on import DVD back in the mid-2000's. That made me enough of a fan to seek his other stuff out, and I was lucky enough to get to see his Snowpiercer in a movie theatre, which is something, considering we don't get a lot of indie movies in theatres here, unless they get nominated for something or have a particularly big star in them. (Notable exception: The Sidewalk Film Festival.)
Of course, Snowpiercer did have big stars in it- Chris "Captain America" Evans was the lead, and the supporting cast included Tilda Swinton, Octavia Spencer, Ed Harris, John Hurt and more familiar names. It marked Bong's English language debut, and a TV series based on it has been long in the works- count on that getting fast-tracked, if you'll pardon the pun, within the year, given Parasite's massive acclaim. I also wouldn't be surprised if his next film marks another English language endeavor, for the same reason.
Unless you've been living under a rock- or a basement level apartment, as it were- you're probably aware that Parasite shocked mainstream America when it not only won the expected Best International Feature Film award (aka the award formerly known as "Best Foreign Film") at the Oscars, but the big enchilada as well: Best Picture. Bong himself also took home the Best Director award to boot. Some didn't take too kindly to this- i.e. our uncultured, not-so-fearless leader, President Dumb-Ass- but I suppose that's to be expected.
The film is hard to describe in summary. It's about a poor family that lives in near-squalor when fortune shines upon them- at least at first. A visiting cousin hips the son of the family to a tutoring gig at the residence of a rich family that pays really well, and puts in a good word for him, not wanting his more predatory friends to lay their grubby paws on the subject, a cute teen that will be of age by the time he returns from studying abroad.
Wanting someone he can trust in the position, he lies for his cousin, Ki-woo, and we're off and running. Ki-woo is barely getting started when he gets wind of the family's troubled son needing an art tutor. Thinking quick on his feet, he recommends his sister, only not as his sister, but as "Jessica," not only a professional art teacher, but a therapist as well. She, in turn, sets up her father as the family's driver through iffy means, and they then get the longtime housekeeper fired under even iffier means so that their mother can take over the job.
The rich family has no idea their new employees are all related, and the ruse holds up for a while, but comes to an obstacle when the former housekeeper demands to be let in one night when the rich family is away camping. It turns out she has some secrets of her own and isn't so easily gotten rid of- and isn't above blackmailing the poor family to get her way. Will they deal with it- or will they resort to the ultimate sin to get rid of her? You'll just have to see for yourself, but trust me, if you thought all that was crazy, you ain't seen nothing yet.
So, did Parasite deserve all the accolades? Absolutely. It's original and completely out there in a genuinely unique way. Did it deserve to win Best Picture? That's a bit more debatable. I have no problem with it winning, but I'd be lying if I said it would have made the top of my own list. But that's fine- the whole point of Best Of lists is to choose your own personal favorites, not to kowtow to popular opinion, and if you saw my list, you know that there's some quirky choices on there that some critics wouldn't have included even under duress, lol. But the film is definitely Top 10 material, for sure.
As with many of the films that did make my list, it's actually a story about the haves versus the have nots, and perfectly encapsulates the struggle between the rich and the poor. The rich aren't necessarily portrayed as bad people here- they're just flawed, like all of us. If anything, it's the poor that resort to questionable actions, and that definitely comes back to haunt them in the end, in pretty spectacular fashion. And yet, you never really hate any of them, either, as they're just trying to get by in a system that's inherently compromised.
It's a film that will likely inspire lively debate among those who watch it, and that's one of the best kinds of films there is, IMHO. In addition, with all that's going on, plot-wise, it also rewards multiple viewings- another key signifier of a great movie in my book. I'm sure it will come to no surprise that a proposed TV series is in the works for this one as well, albeit more of a spin-off than a remake, this time around featuring a more international cast, a la Snowpiercer.
Can't wait for that, but in the meantime, Parasite is well-worth your time, especially if you don't mind subtitles. For those who share Beavis & Butthead's philosophy: if I wanted to read, I'd go to school- you might want to skip this one, but I suspect if you're reading this, you won't mind. It's undeniably a one of a kind film, that's for sure. I can't recommend this one enough.
It: Chapter Two
While I enjoyed the first installment of It quite a bit and felt it was overall a more faithful adaptation of the classic Stephen King novel than the TV miniseries version, I don't know that I necessarily felt it deserved to be the highest-grossing horror film of all time. It's fine, but the most successful horror film of all time? No.
That said, I was reasonably looking forward to the sequel, having even gone so far as to re-read the mammoth book for the first time in many a moon. What I discovered was that, while fairly faithful, the movie definitely took some liberties with the material, and not all of those changes were for the better. Would the second installment improve on the first? Yes and no.
On the one hand, the cast is pretty impeccable. You couldn't ask for a much better ensemble than James McAvoy, Jessica Chastain and Bill Hader in the leading roles, along with a returning Bill Skarsgård as Pennywise. Even the lesser-known cast members- Isaiah Mustafa (aka the "Old Spice" guy), James Ransome (The Wire) and Jay Ryan (Top of the Lake)- are all great, and you can tell care was taken for casting people that actually looked like their younger counterparts, or, in the case of Ryan, the way he was described in the book. (Let's just say time was kind to good old Ben.)
That cast also took care to study their predecessors and make sure that their adult traits were easily traced back to their old-school younger selves. In the excellent documentaries included on the Blu-Ray for the newer film, which covers both films, we see that the younger actors- who also shot some new scenes for this film for a few choice flashbacks- did a really cool thing for the newcomers: they wrote notes to all of them, in character, letting them know their hopes and dreams for their future selves. Pretty neat.
It's also clear that the actors took those notes to heart, and really tried to bring their "A" game. After all, it was that younger cast that got us from Point A to Point B. And I think that the newbies probably knew that if they failed them, they probably failed the movie itself, and that would lead to the movie itself perhaps being a failure.
The good news is that they didn't fail the movie, and the movie itself did just fine at the box office, albeit not quite as well as the original- perhaps to be expected. Part One made a whopping $700 million on a $35 million budget, while Part Two managed a $473 million on a $79 million budget. Not too shabby, but not quite the success story of the original, either.
Truth be told- and I think even the new cast recognized this- it was, in large part, due to the younger cast that the first film was as huge as it was in the first place. At the time, Stranger Things was all the rage (and the IT cast featured one of their cast, Finn Wolfhard), Stephen King was experiencing a bit of a renaissance, both creatively in his new works, and in terms of making a major comeback on the small and big screens alike.
Granted, not all of it was a success- I could have done without the bungled Dark Tower movie (which sadly blew up the chances of a proper adaptation in the process, which is a damn shame) and the more pointless remakes, like Pet Sematary- but I grew up reading King from an early age, so it's nice to see him back in the big leagues again. I absolutely love the Castle Rock TV show, and I've enjoyed the ongoing Mr. Mercedes/Bill Hodges/Holly Gibney book and TV series, which also includes the recent HBO spin-off The Outsider.
So, yeah good to have King back, and to see what amounts to a decent, if flawed, adaptation of one of his most celebrated works. It was also amusing to see King himself crop up in this film, poking fun at that old criticism often leveled at him that he doesn't know how to properly end a book. Well, newsflash- neither do the filmmakers behind this movie, who, of course, went off-book for the ending and botched one of the more memorable moments from the original miniseries in the process.
I could have lived with that, had they kept more of the book's events- King basically levels a good chunk of the town of Derry in the book's ending, which they do not do here, in spite of having a bigger budget. Instead, we have what amounts to a slightly better version of what happened in the miniseries, but which isn't all that scary, and often lands just this side of cartoonish.
Indeed, Pennywise himself has a much-diminished presence in the film, which is too bad, as Skarsgård was one of the best things in the first film. Oddly, in trying to make up for losing certain things from from the book in the first film by cramming them into the sequel, the result feels overstuffed and way too long- no horror movie should be almost three hours in length.
You've got Beverly in a violent relationship with her husband, but he doesn't come after her, like in the book, so that feels unfinished. You've got Bill in a troubled relationship with his wife, who likewise drops out of the movie after a perfunctory scene, which is part of the reason why the film doesn't have the ending of the original or the miniseries version, in turn robbing the film of one of the book and miniseries' most heartwarming moments. Needless to say, there's also no affair between two certain characters, either- another part of showing that these characters are flawed that is lost.
I mean, I get it- they had to cut corners where they could- but it's weird that the heavily-compromised miniseries version managed to mostly get the tone of the ending right, whereas the big-budget remake that had far more resources to nail it, doesn't. I'll allow that the ending may read better in the book than it plays on the screen, but if you're going to get the author himself to show up and poke fun at the ending of his own book- or at least the reaction it got from critics- then you damn well better nail that ending, and this one doesn't.
That said, it's not a bad film, and it does have its moments. The scene at the restaurant is handled better than in the miniseries, and the bit where Beverly visits her old apartment is pretty creepy. I also did like the way the screenwriter, Gary Dauberman (of the Annabelle films fame) made Richie gay, which ties in the horrific opening scene (which features a gay bashing incident) more directly with the subsequent events, which King didn't think to do. The whole "Ritual of Chüd" thing and IT's origins are also handled arguably better than in the book, so there are some improvements.
But the main thing is- it just isn't that scary. Literally and figuratively. It's certainly watchable and well-acted and reasonably well-executed, but I never forgot I was watching a CGI-driven horror movie that can't even be bothered to handle that aspect of the film in a realistic way- the Paul Bunyan bit is cartoonish (as it was in the book, TBH), and another effect is wholesale ripped off from The Thing.
Granted, they're up front about it, and it's a cute joke for horror fans, but yeah, it's just not very scary, and the first one at least had its moments- and more of them overall. Also, acknowledging you're ripping something off doesn't make it better, any more than getting the author to cameo in the movie to tip viewers off that the ending is going to be changed makes that any better.
So, it's kind of a draw overall- it's a decent enough film, but not as good as the first one. It's more faithful to the book than the first one, but it's not as scary, either, and oddly leaves out some really compelling elements of the book, in favor of lesser things. Check it out if you're that determined to do so, but keep those expectations low, especially if you read the book.
Keep Watching
I watched this one on a whim, mostly because it had Bella Thorne in it, who is nothing if not easy on the eyes, at least before she went off the reservation a bit and started dying her hair blue, piercing everything and going out in public in lingerie. But hey, who am I to judge? You do you, girl.
It's basically a home invasion flick- in fact, it was actually originally titled just that before cooler heads prevailed and retitled it something not so on the nose- or maybe someone just beat them to the punch. Not that it stopped Escape Room, mind you, which is the title of at least three films I'm aware of, and all of them within the last few years. Interestingly, it was the third of them that hit it big at the box office- go figure.
Keep Watching did not- it grossed a mere $94,178 on a $5 million budget, which is just sad, really. Perhaps needless to say, it went straight to DVD/Blu-Ray and out of the theatres before anyone concerned had time to blink, much less "keep watching." It's just as well, because if you're a horror fan, you've basically seen this all before, to say the least. Think Funny Games (either version) or The Strangers, only more organized, so sort of The Purge adjacent.
Actually, the film it reminded me most of was the underrated Thanksgiving-centric indie horror flick Kristy, from 2014, with maybe a little influence from something like Open Windows or Unfriended: Dark Web. Basically, it's a found footage hybrid- which, honestly, all found footage films should be, so that they make sense- which means that it's found footage most of the time, unless something needs to be shown from an objective viewpoint, at which point it switches to an "outside" camera, which is to say, the regular POV most films use.
The set-up is this: a ring of online wackos that stream all their activities, illegal or otherwise, somewhat randomly select a victim via social media, then stalk them, get to know their habits, and plant tiny cameras all over their house when they know the family will be away. Then, with everything in place, the fun begins in earnest.
The group places steel gates over the exits of the house so that the people inside can't escape- but, if they do, they also have people staking out the property outside to scoop them up before they can contact the authorities. They also sneak in and steal everyone's phones and laptops and what have you, and eventually shut off the lights, turning them on when they need them.
They then proceed to terrorize the families, hunting them down and killing them one by one, but, at the same time, giving some of them the chance to fight back- to "kill or be killed" as it were. There's a reason for that, and anyone who's seen some of the movies I've mentioned will see it coming a mile away. I will say that the film's ending is gratifyingly dark, but naturally, also leaves the door open for a sequel, because of course it does.
Thorne is solid, if unspectacular, in the role, but has been served better elsewhere in her other, far superior films, like The Duff and The Babysitter. It is fun seeing Chandler "Carl" Riggs, of The Walking Dead fame, as her skeevy brother DJ, plus Ioan Gruffudd (Fantastic 4) and the sexy Natalie Martinez (Under the Dome) as Thorne's character's father and stepmother, respectively- though all deserve better, in what are mostly pretty thankless roles. However, I did get a chuckle out of the just-this-side-of-pervy uncle played by horror regular Leigh Whannell, of Saw, Insidious and Cooties fame, who slips his underage niece a doobie on the sly, lol. 😜
The film does have some stylish touches- some of the ways certain scenes are shot are clever, but occasionally, it cuts the other way and it's hard to tell what the hell is going on, which is why it was smart to use an objective viewpoint once in a while. I wouldn't be surprised if those were added after the fact in reshoots because they didn't quite have the footage they needed. For the most part, though, it's competently shot.
I'd say it's worth a rental at the local library or watching on movie channels or via streaming, but I wouldn't buy it or pay for it in any way unless you're a Thorne completist, in which case, you've probably already seen it and/or purchased it by now. Like I said, she's just fine in it, but it's nothing you haven't seen before, especially if you're a horror fan with a penchant for home invasion-type films.
Seven in Heaven
Rounding out the pack is this oddball film which answers the question no one was asking: what if the old teen make-out game "Seven Minutes in Heaven" was a horror movie? What's next? "Spin the Bottle"... of death? Okay, granted, I knew what I was getting into with this one going in, having seen the trailer at the beginning of another horror film I was watching. As we horror fans are gluttons for punishment, I just couldn't resist seeing what a freaking "Seven Minutes in Heaven" horror movie would be like.
The answer is, of course, dumb AF, but then you probably guessed that by now. For those unfamiliar with said game, the idea is this: a couple chosen at random- in this case, via playing cards- is selected to spend seven minutes in a closet in which "anything goes." Depending on one's age, you either just sit there and/or nervously talk to one another, and, if you're lucky, you get to make out with them for seven minutes- or even have sex, if you're REALLY lucky, but I can't recall anyone I know ever going that far. Needless to say, by the time you reach a certain age, you don't need a damn closet to get busy. You get horizontal- or vertical, I don't judge- wherever you want.
The kids in question here aren't THAT young, much less the older actors playing them, so I don't really get why they're playing the game in the first place, but if they didn't, we wouldn't have a movie, so there you go. Even weirder, the ringmaster, or whatever, offers up his own girlfriend as being in the running! There actually is a reason for that, so good on the writer/director- Chris Eigeman, of all people- for putting some thought into this silly movie, more than it probably deserves.
For those who don't know, Eigeman is best-known for acting in a series of indie movies back in the day by the highbrow filmmaker Whit Stillman, who was sort of like the yuppie equivalent of Woody Allen, minus the unsavory parts- insofar as I know. Even though I'm about as far removed from that world as possible, I did enjoy some of them, notably Metropolitan, Barcelona and especially The Last Days of Disco, which was one of the first things I saw Kate Beckinsale in, and has a fantastic soundtrack. Some of you might also know him from TV's Fringe, Gilmore Girls and Girls.
Anyway, as you might expect, given that pedigree, it's actually not bad, writing-wise, it's just the general premise that's goofy. The characters are actually pretty decent for a teen-driven flick like this, especially the two leads, played by Travis Tope (The Town That Dreaded Sundown remake, Netflix's American Vandal) and Haley Ramm (Red State, Light as a Feather), who the ill-fated closet couple in question.
Basically, the two go into the closet and never come back out. At least, not where they were. Instead, they find themselves in what appears to be a parallel universe, in which the same people exist as in their own universe, but slightly different. In some cases, people are alive that were dead in their own universe, such as Tope's character's father. In addition, the two are both accused of having something to do with the murder of Derek (Jake Manley), who, ironically, was the one who bullied them into the game in "their" world.
If this all sounds like a glorified Twilight Zone episode, you are right on the money, because it totally is. That said, it's a reasonably enjoyable one, and considering I rented the film and had zero expectations for it, I was pleasantly surprised how much it didn't suck. I mean, it's no modern-day classic, granted, but it's not so bad, all things considered. At right around ninety minutes, it doesn't overstay its welcome, and though it could have gone even darker (by say, pinning a murder on a certain someone), the ending is gratifyingly bleak- for one character, at least.
So, while the premise is admittedly a joke, and the movie isn't particularly scary- it's more of a teen thriller, and doesn't have much in the way of gore- it's a passable time waster, overall. I'd say rent it or watch it online, but maybe don't buy it until you're sure it'll be your thing. But if you dig old TZ episodes, you could do a lot worse. I personally enjoyed it for what it was. And hey, it's more original than Keep Watching, at least. 😜
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