After re-watching My Bloody Valentine earlier this week, I found myself with a hankering for more north-of-the-border horror, because no one does slasher movies quite like our Canadian brethren. To that end, I decided to go with another of my all-time faves, the mental murder mystery, Happy Birthday to Me.
While a bit long by horror movie standards, clocking in at an hour-and-fifty minutes, there's no denying that it packs a lot into that expanded running time, including a truly bonkers, "Scooby-Doo"-style finale that is genuinely something to see.
The story revolves around Virginia (former Little House on the Prairie-star Melissa Sue Anderson, in her bid for adult-style fame), a somewhat shy, reserved girl, who is friends with a group of elite rich kids that dub themselves the Top Ten. As the movie progresses, someone starts bumping them off, one by one. But why? And who is doing the killing?
The answer may be connected to a mysterious accident Virginia was involved in some four years prior, one which claimed the life of her mother (Sharon Acker, best-known for the hard-boiled crime thriller Point Blank) and which she is still recovering from.
Her injuries necessitated brain surgery, the after-effects of which still plague her, resulting in her having to regularly visit a local psychologist, Dr. David Faraday- see what they did there? - played by stalwart actor Glenn Ford, a long way from Gilda and Experiment in Terror, but not so much from playing Pa Kent in the original Superman movie with Christopher Reeve.
Has Virginia gone off the deep end? Or is someone else after her friends? Whatever the case, they sure are inventive, taking people out with free weights, spinning motorbike tires and a deftly-placed scarf and even, most infamously, a shish-kabob, thanks to the movie poster/video cover that fascinated a lot of us as kids and promised "Six of the most bizarre murders you'll ever see!" (Actually, there's nine- way to undersell it! They also got the names wrong, lol.)
Though the film doesn't quite deliver the gory goods in full- thanks no doubt, in part to the censors, working overtime to protect us all from witnessing fake murders on screen- it doesn't really need it, as the story is intriguing enough to keep us watching, despite some slow-moving moments that could have been trimmed in post-production to keep things moving along at a steadier pace.
Even so, the FX are pretty memorable, particularly the gruesome finale, in which we get to see the murderer's handiwork in all its gory glory at a climatic birthday bash- emphasis on the "bash" part- with effects done by Tom Burman, who also did the honors for My Bloody Valentine, as well as such horror favorites like 1978's Invasion of the Body Snatchers, 1982's Cat People, Halloween III: Season of the Witch and Sloth in The Goonies and the titular character in 1985's Teen Wolf. Burman still works steadily to this day, notably on medical dramas like FX's nutbar Nip/Tuck and Grey's Anatomy.
Remarkably, the film was directed by legendary British filmmaker J. Lee Thompson, best-known for the original Cape Fear, The Guns of Navarone, the Sharon Tate occult vehicle Eye of the Devil, several Planet of the Apes movies, the quirky supernatural mystery The Reincarnation of Peter Proud and a host of Charles Bronson flicks, including the slasher-esque 10 to Midnight, The Evil That Men Do and Death Wish IV: The Crackdown.
Unlike his star Glenn Ford, who reportedly resented lowering himself to do a slasher film, and even got into fist-fights on the set (!), Thompson reveled in it, personally splashing blood all over the set to up the gore factor wherever he could! Though he ended up having to cut things here and there, like most slashers at the time, apparently, he got away with more than most at the time because of his reputation in the industry. His affection for splatter might be why he later embraced the over-the-top violence of the Bronson movies.
The cast of would-be victims also includes a number of familiar faces to horror and cult movie fans. The actress who bites it in the opening scene, Lesleh Donaldson, was also in the Canadian chillers Funeral Home, Curtains and Deadly Eyes, as well as an episode of TV's Friday the 13th: The Series.
Lawrence Dane, who plays Virginia's father, was featured in The Clown Murders, Rituals (aka The Creeper), Scanners, Of Unknown Origin, Darkman II: The Return of Durant, and Bride of Chucky. Jack Blum, who played the creepy, mask-making Alfred, also played Spaz in the Bill Murray-starring sleepaway-camp-themed Meatballs.
Matt Craven, who played Steve, who gets the infamous shish-kabob to the throat, had one of the most successful careers moving forward, and works steadily to this day. He was also in Meatballs, and you can see him in the underrated Jacob's Ladder, alongside director Sam Raimi in Indian Summer, the remake of John Carpenter's cult classic Assault on Precinct 13, the M. Night Shyamalan-produced Devil, and X-Men: First Class.
Tracey E. Bregman, who played Virginia's bestie Ann, who harbors a big secret, didn't do much in the way of movies after this, but had a long, illustrious career in daytime TV soaps, notably in The Young & The Restless and The Bold & The Beautiful, as well as a brief stint on The Days of Our Lives. She won an Emmy for her role on TYATR, and was nominated several more times for it besides, as well as multiple nominations for other awards on her other shows. Like Craven, she's never stopped working.
Lenore Zann, who played Maggie, was also in the Canadian hospital-slasher Visiting Hours, Murder by Phone (aka Bells), American Nightmare (also, ironically, Canadian), Prettykill and TV's Kingdom Hospital, before dropping out of acting and becoming a successful politician. She also voiced Rogue on the X-Men animated series from the 90's, among other voice-over roles, including Tigra on The Avengers: United We Stand and roles on Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and in the My Little Pony and Bratz movies.
My personal fave actress in the movie is sexy Lisa Langois, who was also in Phobia (which co-starred David Eisner, who played Rudi in this film), the excellent punk rock-themed Class of 1984 (alongside a young Michael J. Fox), Deadly Eyes, The Nest, Transformations and Poe: Last Days of the Raven. Reportedly, her intended death (by an axe to the head) was a bridge too far for the MPAA, so it was cut out, leaving her one of the few survivors of the Top Ten, albeit unintentionally.
Both Langois and Zann also cropped up on TV's The L-Word, which caused Zann a bit of trouble in her political career, when someone from the opposition tried to smear her name by leaking topless photos of her from the show!
As for star Anderson, she kept working steadily, mostly on TV, throughout the 80's and 90's, with the occasional movie here and there, but drifted out of the industry after that, for the most part, to start a family. She later moved to Canada, where she became a citizen, so obviously her experiences there were positive.
Sadly, she didn't do much more in the way of genre-oriented work, save the obscure horror-comedy Dead Men Don't Die and the entertainingly campy TV-movie Midnight Offerings, where she played a witch with telekinesis, a la Carrie, also from 1981.
One of the writers, John C.W. Saxon, also co-wrote the aforementioned Class of 1984, plus the trash epic Ilsa: She-Wolf of the SS, albeit understandably under a fake name. Co-writing team Peter Jobin and Timothy Bond did the twisted TV-movies Till Death Do Us Part (with Matt Craven) and the Hitchcockian thriller She Cried Murder (with Lynda Day George, of the infamous Pieces and Telly "Kojak" Savalas), an episode of Friday the 13th: The Series and the Malcolm McDowell horror vehicle Pact with the Devil. Bond also segued into directing, mostly for TV, doing several episodes of FT13: TTVS, the late 80's reboot of Alfred Hitchcock Presents and Goosebumps.
Finally, my loyal readers know I'm a sucker for a great horror movie theme song, especially if it was written especially for the movie at hand, and this one has a doozy, a creeptastic offering from Syreeta, who was once married to none other than R&B legend Stevie Wonder. Sadly, when the film was initially released on DVD in 2004, it featured a changed score and soundtrack, much to the consternation of fans. Fortunately, this was rectified by Anchor Bay in 2009, so make sure you get that version, if you want to hear the original soundtrack and score.
Happy Birthday to Me is by no means a perfect movie, thanks to that lengthy-by-horror-movie-standards running time, and some occasionally iffy acting. But the colorful Giallo-esque murders and the mystery elements set this one a cut above most slashers, and that ending is just nuts. If it strains credibility at times- reportedly, the ending was changed at the last minute to give the movie one last, memorable twist (mission accomplished there!) - that just adds to its charms.
Anderson is affecting and relatable, and you really care about what happens to her character, making the final moments of the film all the more devastating. Ford, despite his complaints about being in a slasher film, adds a touch of class to the proceedings, and the whole movie is beautifully-shot, especially that candle-lit finale.
All in all, it's a solid entry into the slasher movie pantheon, and a must-see for fans of the oft-reviled subgenre, being as how it was released at the height of slasher movie mania and features such a genre-friendly cast. I love it, and watch it every few years or so, typically around- what else? - my birthday. Maybe it will become a yearly celebration for you, too.
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