Retro Review: The Hateful Eight

Writer's Note: In honor of actress Jennifer Jason Leigh's birthday, here's my take on "The Hateful Eight." It was originally published on Facebook on January 22nd, 2016.

Be sure to keep an eye out for my "Best of the Year" list later this week! 

So, I held off on seeing this, in hopes of getting to see the “Roadshow” version in 70mm, which is a good 15 minutes or so longer and comes with a free program, in addition to the cooler wider format- but alas, the closest theater was a good two hours away, and most people aren’t willing to travel that far for a movie, so it was not to be, unfortunately. 

That said, as nifty as it would have been to do so, after having seen the “regular” version, I’m actually kind of glad I didn’t go that far. Not that it was a bad film, per se- is there such a thing as a truly “bad” Tarantino film? Hell, even “Death Proof”-arguably his most-maligned flick to date- is pretty damn watchable. 

No, my problem- and you might have heard this same complaint elsewhere by now, so my apologies if I’m beating a dead horse here- is that, if you’re going to go to the trouble to do a film in this outdated, outmoded format, why would you do THIS particular film? Those who’ve already seen it will know exactly what I mean by this.

For those who haven’t, it isn’t giving much away to reveal that a good 90% of the film, if not more (I’m not so good with the percentages) is set entirely in one location! I think it’s safe to say that, when most people pictured a lavish QT epic Western filmed in 70mm, they probably got a mental picture of lush vistas, gorgeous landscapes, impressive pan shots, that sort of thing. Instead, after a brief, albeit impressively filmed, intro scene set on the road to Red Rock, we settle into a rather bland outpost setting. What the what? 

Yes, QT has gone on record as saying that was by design, given the locked-door, Agatha Christie-style nature of the script, but still. What not do this with “Django Unchained,” for instance? Or “Inglourious Basterds”? Both would have been mighty impressive in that format, to be sure. 

But what we got instead is essentially “Reservoir Dogs- Old West Version,” which is fine as a movie, but I can only imagine what I would have thought if I’d driven two hours to see it- I’m guessing a lot more disappointed than I was going to see it down the street, that’s for sure. 

So, moving on from my chief complaint, let’s get to the movie itself. This is basically Tarantino’s take on John Carpenter’s “The Thing,” down to having Kurt Russell as the lead, and, if you still weren’t aware that was going on, he even conveniently includes music cues from that movie as well. QT isn’t exactly known for his subtlety, am I right?

Actually, of all my complaints, though, music certainly isn’t one of them. Forgoing his usual cherry-picking of other movie scores and pop songs for the most part, he opted to get the legendary Ennio Morricone to score this one, and it is an impressive one, indeed, and I will definitely be picking that soundtrack up asap, just as I have QT’s other impeccably-curated ones before it.

I would be shocked if EM doesn’t pick up an Oscar to go along with his recent Golden Globe win, that’s for sure. (Author's note: He did!) It is just phenomenal and I can only image how much more impressive it was in the “Roadshow” version. Even in the digital soundtrack format, it was pretty phenomenal, and not necessarily what you’d expect, which is something in the vein of his famed “spaghetti westerns.” I definitely mean that in a positive way, as I love his more experimental scores as much as, if not more, than those.

Beyond that and Morricone’s “The Thing” cues (which incidentally, is one of the few Carpenter movies he didn’t score himself, and ironically sounds…just like a Carpenter score, lol), there’s also a selection from EM’s “Exorcist II: The Heretic” score, of all things; as well as a period-appropriate, retro-sounding White Stripes song, a Roy Orbison tune (fittingly from “The Fastest Gun in the West”), and, of all things, David Hess’ “Now You’re All Alone,” from “The Last House on the Left,” which oddly fits right in, nonetheless. So, musically, well done, as ever, QT. 

Back to the movie. The story is pretty simple, albeit deceptively so. Kurt Russell plays a bounty hunter on his way to Red Rock to transport the murderous, near-feral character played by Jennifer Jason Leigh, when a blizzard hits. Planning to stop at a way station of sorts to wait it out, his coach runs into two unexpected travelers. One, he knows, albeit tangentially- a Civil War Major played by Samuel L. Jackson. The other he does not, a man claiming to be the new Sheriff of Red Rock, played by Walton Goggins.

He begrudgingly agrees to give both a ride to the given destination, only when they arrive, there’s yet another group of strangers, most of whom are unknowns to Russell and company, and the people typically in charge are notable in their absence. Is anyone who they claim to be? Are they after his bounty? What’s really going on here? Over the course of the near three-hour running time, Russell aims to find out, and sleep with one eye open- if he sleeps at all- until he does. 

That’s about it, really. As the film progresses, we learn more and more about everyone concerned, which also includes QT regulars Tim Roth, Michael Madsen, Bruce Dern and new recruit Demián Bichir (TV’s “The Bridge” and “Weeds”), recommended to QT by pal/collaborator Robert Rodriguez, who worked with him on “Machete Kills.”Also cropping up in the requisite flashback near the end are Channing Tatum and another QT regular, Zoe Bell, at her most adorable.

To be brutally honest, there’s not really that much to the mystery per se, it’s pretty obvious from the title that everyone is pretty despicable and out for themselves, so it’s not much of a revelation when that turns out to indeed be true. Yes, there are a few twists- notably one involving Jackson’s character, who has a monologue that may well be worth the price of admission alone- but nothing you can’t probably figure out for the most part. The only real surprise, such as it is, is the “why” of it all, and it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure that out, either. 

But, of course, in a QT flick, it’s all about the journey, not the destination, and that’s indeed what ends up making the film. As ever, for this writer/director, the dialogue’s the thing, and you can tell all the actors concerned are having a field day with it. Long speeches abound, and yet, to be as long as it is, I was never quite bored, because QT’s just that good at writing engaging dialogue. Did it really NEED to be three hours long? Hell, no. But it’s never un-enjoyable, so that’s saying something.

I can’t speak to what was in those fifteen extra minutes, but I’m guessing it has to do with the somewhat jarring out-of-nowhere narration by QT himself, in which it seems as if someone accidentally pushed the “commentary” button on the Blu-Ray or something. I can’t say it’s entirely necessary, as we could easily figure out the gist of it ourselves, but it is what it is, I guess. Whatever the case, I imagine that was where the extra bits lie, and I look forward to seeing what I missed the next time around when the film hits home video. 

So, on the grand scale of QT’s eight films, where does this one lie? Sadly, near the bottom for me, personally. Once again, not saying it’s bad in the slightest. Just that I enjoyed his previous efforts more. This IS the first one that treads perilously close to QT repeating himself, however, and that’s unfortunate. Maybe QT would have done well to let this one go, as originally planned, when the script leaked online. Or maybe if he did it as a made-for-TV movie- or even a stage play, as crazy as that sounds- it would have been a better move. (It’ll make more sense once you’ve seen it.)

As it stands, it’s still well-worth seeing, and even a subpar QT film is a damn sight better than 90% of what else is out there at any given time, and that’s a figure I DO stand behind. So, if you’re a fan, you’re definitely gonna want to see this, if you haven’t already. But if you’re only a moderate one, it can wait until home video/streaming, sorry to say. I wouldn’t go so far as to call it a disappointment, but it is kind of just decent rather than near awe-inspiring, and I can’t say that about most of QT’s previous stuff, so take that as you will. 

Check it out!