Writer's Note: First off, to address those unfamiliar with the series first likely question: Why didn’t you review ThanksKilling 2 as well? That’s because there is no ThanksKilling 2, per se. It IS used as a plot device in Part 3- more on that later- but basically, skipping to Part 3 from Part 1 is a joke.
Not unlike, say, Surf II (there is no Surf I) or Naked Gun 33 1/3 (There are no Naked Guns 3 through 33 1/2- it's a joke about the propensity for Hollywood to make lots of sequels at that time in particular, with the 33 1/3 being the amount of revolutions per minute of a vinyl album on a record player under normal circumstances).
Got it? Let's get started, then! 🐣
How to review a movie like ThanksKilling? Well, first of all, it's virtually critic-proof, because it knows exactly what it is, and what it's trying to be, and it absolutely succeeds in achieving that, for better or for worse.
You'll likely know if this is the movie for you within the first few minutes, as the film opens with a beyond gratuitous shot of a pair of bare breasts- on a pilgrim, no less- as a talking killer turkey stalks the poor girl through the woods, blurting out: "Nice tits, bitch!" before it kills her.
For the record, the actress in question is Wanda Lust, a porn star, so no one is being taken advantage of- although I can't imagine anyone signing up for something like this and NOT knowing what they're getting into- probably why a few of them use stage names, lol.
The plot, such as it is, revolves around a curse made by a shaman on all white people after he was disrespected by a pilgrim who took advantage of a Native American girl at the original Thanksgiving celebration. The shaman created "Turkie," a foul-mouthed killer turkey- or, if you prefer, fowl-mouthed (sorry, couldn't resist- it's that kind of movie, in case you hadn't figured that out already).
Turkie is said to appear every 505 years (!) to kill every white person he encounters, and guess how long it's been since his last massacre? To that end, we meet our main cast, which are, one assumes, intentionally meant to represent all of the main clichéd characters in a given slasher movie.
There's the hunky jock, Johnny (Lance Predmore); chunky redneck comic relief Billy (Aaron Ringhiser-Carlson); his nerdy pal, Darren (Ryan E. Francis); sexy slut Ali (Natasha Cordova); and, of course, virginal good girl Kristen (Lindsey Anderson). Why are all these disparate types hanging out in the first place? Who knows? Have you ever seen a slasher movie? Trust me, it happens.
No sooner has Darren related the story of Turkie than he appears after a hunter's dog literally pisses on his grave- and on Turkie himself. Turkie promptly dispatches the poor pooch, causing the hunter to give chase. Fortunately for them, the hunter scares off Turkie before he can inflict anymore damage.
But you can't keep a murderous turkey down- or a murderous Turkie, as it were- and it wastes no time in tracking down each of the "college students" (as per slasher movie tradition, they're all played by full-on adults) and taking them out one by one, along with anyone else that gets in his way. He also bones the hot chick for good measure, because of course he does. ("You just got stuffed!") Can he be stopped before everyone ends up dead? At least until the sequel? I'm sure you can figure it out.
Anyway, ThanksKilling is completely ridiculous, as one might expect, given that premise. The film was shot in eleven days in the summer of 2007, on a budget of $3,500 and looks it, basically having the production values of a mid-level porn. If that. To say nothing of the level of acting skills at hand. Or the dialogue. Or the special effects. Or the look of Turkie itself, which looks like a rubber puppet that cost about $5 to make.
The sequel, Thanksgiving 3, though it has its problems, too, is far more inventive, and if it overstays its welcome by a good twenty minutes or so- the first one clocks in at a relatively stealth 70 minutes- you can't fault it for at least being ambitious.
This time around, the film spoofs "quest" movies, like the Lord of the Rings trilogy, The Wizard of Oz, The Dark Crystal and Pan's Labyrinth, with a healthy dose of Sesame Street-by-way-of-Meet the Feebles for good measure. In other words, more puppets, more animation (the original film has a little bit of animation in one sequence), and a considerably bigger budget of over a whopping $100,000, which was raised via Kickstarter.
As with its predecessor, it's just terrible, but it is wonderfully terrible. I will give it points for being inventive, however, much more so than the original, which was more one-note. It definitely has a completely different vibe from the original, which may disappoint some viewers looking for more of the same.
The story- and this time, there really is one- revolves around a puppet named Yomi, who is on a quest to literally retrieve her mind, with the help of Uncle Donny (Dan Usaj), a TV pitchman; Jefferson (Joe Hartzler), his head of security at the proposed theme park Thanksgivingland the two are plotting together; Flowis, Donny's rapping grandma (also a puppet); and various other puppets they encounter along the way, like a giant robot and his sidekick, Rhonda, a bisexual tapeworm; and Wise Turkey, a cloaked old turkey that seems to have the answers they seek to point them in the right direction.
Meanwhile, Turkie is himself on a quest to track down the last copy of the "lost" movie ThanksKilling 2, which, as per the promise of the first film's credits, is indeed set in space, and opens with- you guessed it- a shot of a female astronaut's boobs. (Yep, it's Wanda Lust again.) The movie was part of Turkie's evil plot to put a curse on everyone who watches it, but it was deemed so terrible it was unrelease-able, so every copy of it was summarily gathered up and burned!
All except one, that is, which was tossed in the trash, where none other than Yomi accidentally gets ahold of it, causing Turkie to pursue her to the ends of the earth- and beyond- to retrieve it. So, not only does Yomi have to try and find her mind, she has to evade the evil Turkie and his skeletal minions. (Don't ask.)
In-jokes to other movies and TV shows abound (including an amusing homage to Evil Dead 2), with lots of unique, inventive touches, like fake commercials, infomercials, cartoons, and even a faux ThanksKilling videogame! (Complete with an 8-bit version of the theme, no less.)
There's also an extended bit at the beginning that's great, with Turkie having embraced domesticity in the ensuing years after the first film, until he finds out his new movie has been destroyed, at which point he cuts his wife in half (!) and tries to draft his son into joining him in being an evil son-of-a-turkey and get revenge.
The film moves along quite nicely for the first thirty minutes or so, but later gets bogged down in too many oddly extended psychedelic musical sequences (not songs, mind you, just instrumental "techno breaks," as it were) and weird asides that aren't particularly funny or clever, just stupid.
I mean, granted, it's supposed to be stupid, and it is, but there are enough inventive, genuinely funny moments that it makes you wish the filmmakers had a better sense of comedic timing and more editing prowess, so things didn't run so long. At just over 99 minutes, it definitely drags way more than its predecessor.
That said, it is, in general, a marked improvement over the original, and might just bode well for the filmmakers' futures. All they need to do now is get a handle on timing and pacing and they may well have something the next time around. Indeed, director Jordan Downey's next project, The Head, scheduled for release soon, looks like a considerable step up in quality. We'll see.
As it stands, he's keeping the Troma-type vibe afloat for new generations with movies like this, and that's not so bad. I mean, I could do without some of the more homophobic and sexist humor, but Downey seems to have filtered out some of that in the latest incarnation of his signature movie, ThanksKilling: The Musical. (Yes, I'm serious.)
The musical version makes the original film's satirical bent more overt and turns Darren and Billy into actual homosexuals this time around, instead of having Billy just lob homophobic insults at Darren for being too attached to him. The times, they are a-changin', indeed.
The songs, which include the likes of "Horror Cliché Drinking Game" and, of course, "Gobble, Gobble, Motherfucker!" are hilarious, too, and surprisingly catchy, courtesy of Jeff Thompson and Jordan Mann, of the Broadway musical Jawbreaker fame, which is, yes, an adaption of the movie of the same name. The cast recording is available on iTunes, and you can listen to it on YouTube here. (You can read more about it here, as well.)
All of that is neither here nor there, though. What really matters is: are the movies fun to watch? I'd have to say, with the right amount of beer (or whatever) and the right friends in the right frame of mind- absolutely. I mean, seriously- if you sit down to watch a movie (or listen to a musical) about a killer turkey on purpose, you basically get what you came for, you know what I mean?
Fortunately, last I checked, the movies were readily available on Netflix. You can also get both ThanksKilling and the sequel for around twelve bucks, in fact, on Amazon at the time of this writing- probably for less if you buy it used there or on eBay. Though both are essentially one-time-watches, who knows? Maybe you'll find yourself watching them time and again around Thanksgiving time. Stranger things have happened.
Check it out- and, this Thanksgiving, be sure and gobble gobble... motherfucker! 🍗 😉
No comments:
Post a Comment