When is a movie trailer not a movie trailer?
When it's a faux movie trailer, of course!
That is to say, a trailer for a movie that doesn't actually exist in the first place. Although, in some cases, you kind of wish they did. (Looking at you, Catholic High School Girls in Trouble, lol.)
Typically cropping up in spoof movies like The Kentucky Fried Movie and UHF, these fake trailers sometimes look better than the main feature itself. Case in point: Eli Roth's Thanksgiving.
Released as part of the Grindhouse film from directors Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino, it was the result of a novel idea the latter had to also include fake trailers for non-existent exploitation movies, meant to make the entire experience of watching the films seem like an old-school movie theater double-feature seem all the more real.
Back in the day, it was commonplace for drive-ins to show multiple features, giving viewers more bang for their bucks. The approach also spilled into movie theaters, where you could often see two movies for the price of one, particularly during the matinee hours.
However, it was also common for certain low-rent theaters, particularly in bigger cities like New York City and Los Angeles, to adopt the practice at night, typically showing the same sort of drive-in friendly exploitation fare, often in rapid succession for a low price.
Derisively dubbed "grindhouse" theaters, they were often poorly maintained, frequented by dubious clientele, and featured cut-rate prints of the movies that were often scratched up from overuse, missing entire scenes or featuring dropped film frames that were taken out by collectors of filth and the like, typically scenes of nude women or men, sex scenes or extreme violence.
Needless to say, such films weren't exactly considered high-end at the time, and still aren't to a certain degree, but thanks to the advent of DVD and Blu-Ray, some of these films have resurfaced to be enjoyed- or dismissed- by an all-new generation.
Accompanying the films were a host of coming attractions, which often featured the best parts of the film they represented, so as to better entice film-goers to see the final product, though the end result was often a let-down, what with all the best parts ruined for viewers in the trailers. (That much hasn't changed to this day, which is why I avoid them like the plague for the most part!)
To that end, then, QT hired a group of game filmmakers to join in on the fun, shooting a series of fake trailers to accompany his own double feature with RR, just in case they didn't have time to do so themselves. As it turns out, QT did not, but RR did, delivering the instant classic Machete, which went on to become an actual series of films after fans went nuts for the trailer and demanded it happen for real.
Other fake trailers included Shaun of the Dead and Baby Driver director Edgar Wright's Hammer Horror spoof Don't and House of 1000 Corpses and The Devil's Rejects director Rob Zombie's lurid Nazispoitation epic Werewolf Women of the SS, which was actually whittled down from some thirty minutes of footage! To the best of my knowledge, the whole thing has yet to be released, but I'd love to see it.
(There is, however, an extended version available on YouTube that you can watch here, and a making of documentary that you can watch here.)
Last, but certainly not least, was Cabin Fever and Hostel director Eli Roth's amazing Thanksgiving trailer, which was my personal fave of the bunch. I grew up on a steady diet of slasher movies, and, as any fans of the sub-genre know, after the success of movies like Black Christmas and especially Halloween, it became a thing where nearly every holiday or significant date got its very own slasher, be it Valentine's Day (My Bloody Valentine), Christmas (Silent Night, Deadly Night; Christmas Evil), New Year's Eve (Terror Train, New Year's Evil), April Fools' Day, Friday the 13th, Graduation Day or Prom Night- and there were plenty more where that came from.
One holiday that was notably absent from that list, however, was Thanksgiving. One would think it would be a no-brainer, what with all the people gathered in isolated locales and the handy cutlery around, to say nothing of its iffy historical origins, but no such luck. Aside from the likes of Home Sweet Home and Blood Rage, where the Thanksgiving element was largely incidental, there never was a slasher outright themed to the holiday.
Roth and his longtime pal Jeff Rendell certainly noticed, especially growing up in Boston, Massachusetts, where there were not one-but two Pilgrim-era re-enactment villages they could visit, as well as an annual Thanksgiving parade. It was a pretty big deal, so with each passing year, Roth and Rendell wondered: where is the Thanksgiving-themed slasher? Sadly, one never came.
So, when Roth got wind of QT's idea for the whole fake trailer thing, he jumped at the chance to realize his childhood dream. Drafting the script with Rendell, the two plotted out their ideal Thanksgiving slasher, taking care to incorporate elements of the holiday into the inventive kills. As a coup de grace of sorts, Roth cast Rendell himself as the killer, dubbed The Pilgrim, knowing he would knock it out of the park.
Roth also crops up in the end result, as a horny jock type, as did actress and good friend Jordan Ladd (also in his Cabin Fever and QT's Death Proof film) and actor Jay Hernandez, with whom he was then-currently shooting the sequel to Hostel.
In addition, actor Michael Biehn, who was coincidentally shooting a film in the area as well, volunteered his services for a cameo, dovetailing nicely with his appearance in RR's Planet Terror, his feature-length contribution to the Grindhouse double-feature.
The Thanksgiving trailer is, ahem, stuffed to the brim with delightfully twisted kills that are definitely in keeping with the other holiday-themed slashers of the time. In one particularly memorable scene, a cheerleader (Vendula Bednarova) practicing her splits on a trampoline gets a decidedly unexpected surprise when the killer shoves a large knife through the covering and she lands right on it in the worst place imaginable.
In another, Roth gives a new meaning to head, when, on the receiving end of a blow job from Ladd's character, the killer takes him out, his severed noggin falling down onto the car's windshield when his girlfriend comes up for air afterwards, as she screams in terror.
However, the most spectacular kills are, of course, Thanksgiving-themed. In one of the trailer's opening kills, a man dressed in a turkey costume for the day's parade has his head cut off, while his body continues to walk around, blood spewing everywhere as everyone screams and runs for cover.
In the trailer's pièce de résistance, a family is tied up and terrorized, as the Pilgrim killer serves up a roasted victim's body with his head grafted onto his body, which is twisted in an unnatural way to resemble a cooked turkey, complete with a meat thermometer stuck where the sun doesn't shine anymore. For good measure, the killer even humps the man-turkey!
It's really something, to say the least. It's no wonder the MPAA threatened the whole thing with an "X" rating. Fortunately, Roth talked them down to an "R" once he showed them how it was cut in such a way you barely had time to process what was going on at any given moment. In some ways, we all are still wondering, lol.
Fun facts:
Some of the music used in the trailer is from John Harrison's score for the horror anthology Creepshow. Specifically, the cues come from the "Father's Day" and "Something to Tide You Over" segments.
The whole thing was shot in two days, over the actual Thanksgiving holidays, in the Czech Republic, where Roth was shooting Hostel: Part Two.
Roth shot the cheerleader stripping scene way more than he needed to because, as he put it: "What's the point of shooting an exploitation trailer if you don't get to exploit anybody?" Never fear, though, as the actress in question was already a nude model and didn't mind doing it.
Roth tasked Rendell with purchasing as many Thanksgiving decorations and the like as he could in the US and flying out to the shoot to deliver them. As a reward of sorts, he cast Rendell as the killer, which was a complete surprise to his friend who, while nervous at never having acted before, was thrilled, and said that, once he put on the costume, "This outfit just makes me want to kill people."
After the trailer's enormously positive reception, Roth considered doing an entire movie's worth of fake trailers, planning to draft various directors to contribute, just as QT and RR did before him. The proposed title was Trailer Trash, but alas, the project never came to fruition.
In addition, Roth and Rendell went on to complete an entire feature-length script for a proposed Thanksgiving film, but, as of yet, it still hasn't happened. The story-line revolves around a child with a pet turkey that he loves but doesn't realize will become dinner come Thanksgiving Day.
When his father kills it, the boy goes crazy and kills his entire family in revenge and is committed to a mental institution. Years later, he escapes as an adult, and resumes his revenge on anyone that has the misfortune to cross his path.
Roth says he's happy with the story, but not so much with all the kills, which he wants to be just perfect. Another roadblock may be all the drama with Miramax/Dimension being sold and the rights being tied up, but that was resolved years ago, so really, the only thing holding it up is Roth. Maybe one day.
Until then, we've still got that fantastic trailer, which you can watch here- and be sure to check out this nifty making of documentary on YouTube. And remember, this Thanksgiving: white meat, dark meat... all will be carved. You'll come home for the holidays... in a body bag. 🍗😱💀
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