When I first started "Flashback Friday" back at the University of Alabama (aka UAB), the idea was to introduce the collegiate masses to the world of cult and exploitation films. I started off with some well-known features, but my tenure was short-lived, as I graduated soon after, effectively nipping the mission in the bud. (Once you graduate, you're no longer able to work at the student newspaper/website.)
When I started my blog, I decided to resurrect the idea, also deciding early on, in order to keep things interesting for myself, to tackle some lesser-known flicks that even I hadn't seen. Keep in mind, I got into this sort of thing at an early age, and, with the help of pay-cable movie channels and video rental stores (where I would often rent 3-5 movies at a pop), I drilled through quite a bit of them.
As such, I had to rely on such tried-and-true sources as Michael Weldon's seminal Psychotronic Encyclopedia of Film and Psychotronic Video Guide, Tim Lucas' Video Watchdog, and magazines like Fangoria, Gorezone and Rue Morgue, among others, as well as various websites, in order to find some flicks I hadn't seen.
As you might guess, this has led me to some iffy choices along the way, including Oliver Stone's wacky debut feature, Seizure, the obscure slasher Fatal Games, the TV-movie Calendar Girl Murders, and, most recently, The Centerfold Girls. However, none more so than this week's selection, Doris Wishman's A Night to Dismember.
As much as I love to see one of these films directed by a woman, whoo boy, was it hard to find something positive to say about this one. I'm not completely unfamiliar with Wishman's work, having seen a few of her films in the past, notably the silly Nude on the Moon (which is exactly what it sounds like), the John Waters fave Deadly Weapons (the weapons in question are big old boobs, lol), and the immortal Bad Girls Go to Hell, which I loved.
One of Wishman's final films, it was actually shot in the late 70's, but, according to the director, a disgruntled lab employee destroyed most of the footage, so she was forced to re-shoot a lot of it over the stage of several years to fill in the blanks of what was lost, and add in a whole lot of narration to replace the audio tracks to boot.
As you might guess, this led to a decidedly haphazard film, filled with atrocious editing, horrible dubbing, and even sequences in which one actor is noticeably replaced by another within the course of a single scene!
If this sounds like something out of an Ed Wood film, rest assured, it totally is, which makes for a resulting film that is, by turns, laughable and hilariously bad on every conceivable
level. I mean, even by my decidedly low standards, this one is pretty bottom of the barrel.
Indeed, I found myself needing to pad out this review a bit because I couldn't even lean on the cast to help fill things out a bit as per usual, as most of them were only in this film, or, at best, appeared in some of Wishman's other work, with one major notable exception.
That said, actress Alexandria (no last name given, like Madonna or Cher), who plays Nancy, has a fascinating background, which you can read more about here. In addition to being in various X-Rated movies, Alexandria also posed in men's magazines, including a spread in High Society entitled "Sex in the Psycho Ward" and another in Puritan alongside no less than Nancy Spungen, of Sid & Nancy fame!
Rob DeRosa, who plays Marty, has a few decent, if nondescript, credits to his name, including bit parts as homeless guys on White Collar and The Carrie Diaries, "Scarred Man" on Gotham, "Creep" on The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, a prison inmate on The Last O.G. and "Crazy Junkie" in the movie Ghost Team. Hey, it's a living.
Both Mary Lamay, who played Ann, and Larry Hunter, who played, um, Larry, were in the exploitation flick The Detention Girls, and Hunter was in quite a few other such films, none of which I've seen, with colorful titles like Olga's Dance Hall Girls, All Women are Bad, To Hex With Sex, Once Upon a Body, Love-In '72, Love Toy and The Young Nymphs. This was both of their last feature film.
That's about it, really. The big draw here, by far, is porn star Samantha Fox, not to be confused with the British pop star from the 80's, of "I Wanna Have Some Fun" and "Naughty Girls Need Love Too" fame- though, as you might guess from those song titles, not too far removed from her, either.
This Fox, however, is American, and went from being a professional dancer in NYC to appearing in adult films after being spotted by a porn producer on a local TV show. Things went swimmingly for a while, netting her several "Erotica" awards in the process, before porn's transition from film to video led to a premature ending to her career.
Silicon-enhanced bodies were all the rage at the time, circa the early 80's, and Fox refused to go there, so she instead decided to go legit, landing a few roles- often under the name of Stasia or Stacia Micula- in exploitation flicks like Sex Appeal, Warrior Queen (with exploitation fave Sybil Danning and Donald Pleasence) and Slammer Girls, all of which were directed by Chuck Vincent, himself a former porn star.
Fox was also in the gangster flick Violated and the somewhat star-studded Streetwalkin', featuring a young Melissa Leo (The Fighter), Khandi Alexander (C.S.I. Miami), Dale Midkiff (Pet Sematary), Leon (Cool Runnings), Antonio Fargas (Starsky & Hutch), Greg Germann (Ally McBeal), Annie Golden (Orange is the New Black) and Julie Newmar (the OG "Catwoman" from TV's Batman).
Fox plays the lead character, Vicki Kent, who is given to psychotic breaks from reality that led her to attack some local kids, leading to an extended stay in the nuthouse. Upon her release, the visions start up again, but are actually brought about by her own family, who inexplicably decide to gaslight her to drive her back to a mental institution for some reason.
This eventually leads to Vicki being accused of murders she didn't commit, and her death at the hands of a decidedly unconvincing detective, who becomes taken with Vicki and is given to peeping at her through the windows!
When he receives a frantic call that Vicki has gone nuts, he arrives to find her with a bloody axe, which she picked up in shock, before realizing she had been set up by her actually psychotic sister, who really did murder her entire family for no good reason.
Thinking Vicki to be responsible, the two tussle and Vicki lashes out at the detective to protect herself, but he wrests the axe away from her and kills her instead, only later realizing his mistake when the sister escapes. The film ends with his requesting viewers to call the precinct if they spot her!
As you might have guessed from that description, little about this film makes sense, from the rationale behind any given character's motivation, to even the extensive narration by the lead cop on the case, which runs the span of the entire film, and is given to spouting would-be hard-boiled detective styled nonsense, often describing events he couldn't possibly have seen. (I think the film tries to justify it by saying he read their diaries!)
And don't even get me started on the editing, which looks to have been done with a chainsaw, often repeating shots to imply things like an extended chase through the house or woods.
The sound effects are also ridiculous, including random orgasmic moans during a violent dream sequence (perhaps a nod to Fox's notorious former career?) and what is clearly someone barking like a dog rather than an actual dog!
The music, which seems to be of the public domain variety, a la the original Night of the Living Dead (but used far less effectively), often starts and stops abruptly out of nowhere, and is rarely suitable for what's going on in the given scene.
When I first got the band My Bloody Valentine's Loveless on cassette, I took it back because I thought I'd gotten a bad copy. It sounded like it'd been dropped in water and then dried out on top of a heated radiator too long afterwards. I found out later it was supposed to sound that way. The score here sounds like that, but unintentionally, often speeding up or slowing down, as if the editor hit the wrong button.
The one thing the film has going for it, aside from the admittedly cool title, is the gore effects, but even they are botched by the poor editing. Wait until you see the scenes in which someone slowly descends a real axe or knife or whatever into someone, making sure not to hurt the person in question- apparently the production couldn't afford fake ones- and then lops their head off or drives it into their necks without coming anywhere near them.
When I say they slowly do so, I don't mean the movie goes into slow-motion, either- I mean, you actually see someone slowly thrust a weapon at someone in real time because they don't want to make actual contact with them. Ironically, the film does use slow-motion at various points, so they could have easily sped up said shots to make them look more realistic, but... they didn't.
Honestly, the level of incompetence here is staggering. You'd think that this was Wishman's first feature, not one of her last. I get that she was fighting an uphill battle, what with all the lost footage and no real on-set audio to work with, but man, is this a train-wreck of epic proportions. Needless to say, the film never got a theatrical release, instead going straight-to-video.
You can watch the film here on YouTube, but for those who don't want to commit to the whole thing- which, in spite of the barely over an hour running time, seems endless- here's an extended trailer that features enough of the film for you to decide whether you want to make the full commitment. (Please note: the trailer may actually be better than the movie! It certainly makes more sense, moves quicker and features all the gore, that's for sure.)
Look, don't get me wrong- I love a good bad movie as much as the next cult film fan. But this one is absolutely the pits. Honestly, to call this Ed Wood level bad is an insult to Ed Wood. It's THAT bad.
Even Samantha Fox fans would do better to just cut to the chase and watch one of her porns. The production level is probably better, at least. And the writing. And the acting. And the music. And everything else.
I mean, I chuckled at the full-throttle ineptitude here and there, but on the whole, it adds up to about an hour-and-ten-minutes I'll never get back. I'll leave it to you to decide if you want to suffer the same fate. (Hint: Don't.) 😜😝
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