New Review: I Do... Until I Don't

Writer's Note: I had originally planned to do this one for Amber Heard's birthday... until I actually watched it, lol. It's not THAT bad, mind you, but I had a few complaints about "honoring" people's birthday's with sub-par, or some might say, not great movies, so I opted not to go there, as those people have a point.

Of course, part of the original MO of this blog was to re-post articles that no longer were available online, so I was looking for a reason to do so that made sense and birthdays are the most obvious, so there you go.

But I get the point the complainers were making, and it's a valid one, so from now on, I'll try to only post movies that are actually honorable, IMHO, to celebrate people's birthdays. Otherwise, I may just re-post things at random, because, why not? Gotta get 'em out there somehow.

I had high hopes for I Do... Until I Don't because I'm a big fan of actress-turned-writer/director Lake Bell, who made a wonderful, assured debut with the highly amusing In a World..., which revolved around the trade of voice-over work.

I love a movie that delves into something I've never seen dealt with in a movie before, and that one certainly fit the bill. I'd absolutely watch a documentary about voice-over work, so a fictionalized version of the same was the next best thing. Especially since it was, you know, a pretty good movie. 

For her follow-up, Bell opted to tackle another topic you don't often see in a comedy- a screwball farce about divorce. Unfortunately, there's a reason for that, and it's kind of obvious- the subject matter doesn't lend itself to big laughs.

Witness, for instance, The War of the Roses. Not a bad movie, mind you, but not exactly a laugh riot, either. As a child of divorce myself, I found it more heartbreaking than funny.

This film isn't nearly as dark as that film, which was fully intended to be more of a black comedy than a straight-forward one. But nonetheless, it shows why more filmmakers haven't gone there in the past. 

The plot revolves around a documentarian, Vivian (Dolly Wells, Doll & Em), who, still reeling from a break-up herself, who opts to prove her thesis that all marriages end around the seven-year mark these days, and that a couple should be given an "opt out" around then to end it, rather than dragging things out.

She chooses several couples in different stages of their lives and different stages of their relationships, and tries to show that all of them are doomed to fail. Naturally, all of the couples are connected in some way, unbeknownst to them- at first. 

There's Alice (Bell) and Noah (Ed Helms, The Hangover films), who aren't in any kind of trouble, really, but need the money, so Alice lies and says they are "on the rocks" and tries to play it that way for the cameras- without filling in her husband on what she's up to, mind you, which ostensibly leads to some laughs, but doesn't really. 

There's also her sister, Fanny (Amber Heard, Machete Kills) and her husband, Zander (Wyatt Cenac, The Daily Show), who claim to have an "open" relationship, and who Vivian recruit without informing Alice- and for more money, no less. 

Finally, there's Cybil (Mary Steenburgen, Stepbrothers) and Harvey (Paul Reiser, Stranger Things), who are suffering a bit of a mid-life crisis, complete with a motorcycle for him and a lack of interest in sex for her. Vivian recruits them after overhearing a blow-out between the two in a public setting, a local diner. 

Naturally, Vivian tries to intentionally stir things up amongst the couples, paying a guy to try and come on to Fanny to test whether or not she and her husband really have an open relationship, and so forth, but typically, her efforts fail.

If anything, the actual arguments that arise have nothing to do with her efforts, but rather happen organically because of the inherent weirdness of the situation, particularly when one half of the couple lies to the other, as Alice does with Noah by not telling him the real nature of what the documentary is about- to say nothing of her attempts to get pregnant. 

Of course, Bell makes sure things don't get TOO ugly at any point, which is why, no doubt, she opted to take out a lengthy sequence in which Fanny shows a natural talent for basketball, much to Alice's chagrin, and a jealous Alice beats the tar out of her for showing off in a surprisingly brutal fashion. It's more disturbing than funny, because of how nasty the beat-down is, so I don't blame her for taking it out.

Which leads to the main problem in the film: the tone. Unlike her first film, which Bell obviously knew exactly what she wanted it to be, Bell seems unsure of herself here- perhaps one can chalk it up to the dreaded sophomore slump. As a result, the film is all over the place- dramatic when it should be funny, and never as funny as it clearly wants to be, period.

On the one hand, it's well-acted- how can it not be with such a cast of pros? But the script is underwritten and the general idea just doesn't lend itself to big laughs. If anything, I just felt sorry for everyone, save Vivian, who's just an awful person.

It's also weirdly dated, to have come out in the "#MeToo" era. Note the ending, in which a guy (Chace Crawford, looking to remake his pretty boy image from Gossip Girl, I guess) literally grabs Vivian and slings her over his shoulder, caveman-style and hauls her off, seemingly implying that she just needs to get laid to get that massive chip off her shoulder.

I'm not arguing that she doesn't, but the way in which the film goes about it is tone deaf, given the current climate. Granted, the film was probably made before all that stuff went down in earnest, but still, in this day and age, it was more alarming than funny, not unlike that deleted scene I mentioned. 

That's not the only dubious instance in the movie, either. At one point, Alice dubiously finds herself working at a massage parlor- with benefits, wink, wink- to raise some extra cash for her failing business. And who should come in? Yep, it's Harvey, whose wife "gifts" him with a massage to get him off her back, sexually.

Do I even have to explain how many things are wrong with that scenario? I mean, I get that it's a movie, and things are often exaggerated, but still, outside of The Client List, I'm guessing that sort of thing doesn't happen much IRL. But the main thing is, it's less funny than sad, really, which is not what you want in a comedy. 

In fact, that was my main problem overall with the film- most of the stuff that happens makes you feel bad for the characters, not want to laugh at them. If anything, it feels mean-spirited to WANT us to laugh at them, which Bell clearly does.

Granted, things end in the expected "happy ending" type way- not a spoiler, you can see it coming a mile away- but still, Bell clearly wants to have her cake and eat it, too, and it just doesn't come off that way. Instead, the film is just listless and kinda meh overall. 

Don't get me wrong, the cast gives it their all, and everyone has their respective moments in which they shine here and there. As an actress herself, Bell knows enough to at least do that. But on the whole, the movie is so tonally off, it just doesn't work at all. A few decently funny moments do not a good movie make, as it were.

We need more female filmmakers out there, especially these days, and Bell does have a unique voice, and she proved that in her first feature. When paired with solid material, she can knock it out of the park. However, this time out she comes up short. 

Maybe the third time will be the charm. Until then, I suggest you do... skip this movie. 😢